[emopunk7]

So, it's emopunk7 here and my brother told me that my ex has had a boyfriend for 3 months which means she was with him 3 months after dumping me or sooner. I asked him because it's been 6 months. It is sad to know they now do things we used to do together. The strange thing is that it's her next door neighbor and he is Philippine like her. I'm Puerto Rican but it makes me sad that she never even said bye in a nice way to me and I only did one thing wrong. She never even said thanks for everything. This is just a little hard to take in especially when I din't have a girlfriend. What should my focus be on and is it normal to feel sad about this?

[Alty]

Are we starting all this again Emo?

You aren't with her anymore. Did you think she'd live life without anyone? That's not realistic.

She's moved on, you should have moved on by now too.

Why would you feel sad? It's over. It's done. She's the past. Who cares what she's doing or who she's doing it with?

Why are you still keeping tabs on her?

Just let it go already or you'll never find peace.

[amicon]

Your feelings of sadness are normal.

What you do is just keep living your own life and keep busy ,working on your own happiness.

It's over,you find closure within yourself and move on.

[the_original]

Of course it should make you sad, but only briefly. If I knew my ex was seeing someone else 3 months after it would bug me too, but that's all the more reason to not want to be with her. It's new guys problem now. Everyday that passes gets you closer to the girl your meant to be with.

[sabrewolfe]

It's normal to feel this way because you are just finding out.
She hasn't giving you a second thought to have anything to say to you about your past relationship with her because she didn't appreciate it as much as you did.
It's sad, I know. But some people use the love words more loosly than others just to get what they want at the time. I remember many females I've known that have said that about guys, saying they love you just to get what they want. But it's proving to be that females do that just as much as guys do. I think that many assumptions like that used to be considered just what guys do, but now that guys are starting to open up more to others we are finding out that it is actually pretty much equal when it comes to these things, and I think it always has been that way. It's just coming to light in these newer days.
Women can be just as abusive, uncaring, game playing, violent, and untrusting as men. It's hard for men to accept this about women because we were not taught that. Our whole perception of them was way different.

[talaniman]

Its disappointing news, but not totally unexpected, and one would think you will overcome this, as you did the break up. Why look back now, and wonder?

[Cat1864]

This was from January:

My bro also said she still doesn't hang out with the family and is always out and she is probably with a new guy all the time now.

You have known that this was a probability since then. As I stated at that time, getting news about her through your brother is not a good idea. Stop asking about her even if it is months between times.

Keep your focus on you and your life. Live for yourself and your future. :)

[emopunk7]

I guess just hearing that made me think how strange it is to have someone and then realize all those good times are gone forever. And the fact she never even said bye nicely and just left me like dirt even though I apologized for doing what I did and explaining why and explaining I won't ever do it again. It meant nothing. I truly believe she wanted out long ago. I have had 2 chances to be in a relationship but I didn't really like the girls. I don't know what's coming next but it doesn't seem so bad. Thank you for your words so far everyone. Has this happened to someone and has any thought to share? Why would she move on after 3 months to her next door neighbor? I want to not care but for some reason it is.

[talaniman]

Deal with it, your coping skills are better than that.

[Alty]

Emopunk, haven't we been here already?

I thought you were done with the past and looking forward.

Is this the start of another 800 post thread where we get nowhere? Tell me now so I can unsubscribe.

Yes, this is the slap in the face I think you need.

Get over it already! Stop living in the past, there's a whole future waiting for you!

[emopunk7]

Yea, I'm just going to deal with it.

[Alty]

Yea, I'm just going to deal with it.

Emo, we've heard this before too.

Are you sure this time?

You have to stop asking about her. You have to stop thinking about her. She's no longer a part of you life so don't let her into it.

[emopunk7]

Lol... Thanx Altenweg... I can't just not think about her. I really loved her more than I think anybody ever will or possibly can. You have heard I will deal with it and I have. It's been 6 months and I'm doing good but that news made me sad which is normal. Just as I have gone through other things, I will also get through this. I just have to deal with it. There is nothing else to do. No magic potion. Dealing with it is the hard choice. No drugs or drinking to avoid it. I just needed a few thoughts from my friends here like you guys. Thank you. I will get through this. I hope great things keep happening for me. Wish me luck. Much love from me to you all!

[Adapa]

lol...Thanx Altenweg...I can't just not think about her. I really loved her more than I think anybody ever will or possibly can. You have heard I will deal with it and I have. It's been 6 months and i'm doing good but that news made me sad which is normal. Just as I have gone through other things, I will also get through this. I just have to deal with it. There is nothing else to do. No magic potion. Dealing with it is the hard choice. No drugs or drinking to avoid it. I just needed a few thoughts from my friends here like you guys. Thank you. I will get through this. I hope great things keep happening for me. Wish me luck. Much love from me to you all!

As others have said, and as I have PMed you about this. Do you really think that she was going to be single for the rest of her life and die alone? Do you HONESTLY think that you will be single for the rest of your life and die alone? Do you think that because you are not with her that you will die alone? Give me a break. That is IMPOSSIBLE. There is no humanly possible way for you to be alone for the rest of your life, and for her too.

She will find someone, she will be happy(or seem it), and she will be the same person as she was to you. But if you loved her, as you say you did... you should WANT her to be happy. Why would you want someone to be with you and be UNHAPPY? That would just be selfish and mean. I could not live with myself if I was the ONLY ONE HAPPY in a relationship. Does that make sense?

She obviously was NOT happy with you, and now she is trying to make HERSELF happy. As you should try and make YOURSELF HAPPY. I know it seems like she is the ONLY ONE to make you happy, but you have your WHOLE life ahead of you, and you honestly think that you are going to be alone for the rest of your life?

Think about this. Instead of being sad that she is no longer with you, and with another man. You should just remember that we are all going to die in the end, so at one-point or another she will be alone, either a widow, or dead in the dirt with no one but herself. :cool:

[slapshot_oi]

Her saying goodbye to you nicely wouldn't have changed the way you feel.

. . .Why would she move on after 3 months to her next door neighbor?

A woman can emotionally check-out of a relationship while still in it. So, sometimes, when she officially breaks up with her boyfriend, she's already over him. Strange creatures.

You earned the caliber of pain you feel now, you dug for information, you broke NC. Ignorance is bliss my friend.

[sabrewolfe]

I guess just hearing that made me think how strange it is to have someone and then realize all those good times are gone forever. And the fact she never even said bye nicely and just left me like dirt even though I apologized for doing what I did and explaining why and explaining I won't ever do it again. it meant nothing. I truly believe she wanted out long ago. I have had 2 chances to be in a relationship but I didn't really like the girls. I don't know what's coming next but it doesn't seem so bad. Thank you for your words so far everyone. Has this happened to someone and has any thought to share? Why would she move on after 3 months to her next door neighbor? I want to not care but for some reason it is.

I'll have to agree with sabrewolfe on this one.
Oh that's right, I am sabrewolfe!

Yes I've been there, years ago.
There was a girl I was very happy with. She broke up with me after two years, and went right on to another guy, just like that.
It was hard to deal with for a long time, but as time went on, I did eventually get over it and moved on.
Three years later, as I was in the second year of being with my soon to be wife at the time, this old girlfriend got in touch with me. She married that guy, had a child with him, and divorced him a year and a half later. She wanted to know if we could get together sometime. It was a good feeling to be able to tell her no and good luck with the rest of her life.

[emopunk7]

Ok, a few things. I received a phone call the other day but I missed it as I was busy. I called the number back and it was from JCPenney (my ex works there). I have no business with that company and no other company calls so I'm guessing she called. But why would she try to contact me after 6 months. And even if she wanted to try things and as much as I love her I can't go back this time no matter what. She ruined any chance and that hurts but I just can't go back to go through the same pain and be with someone that treated me so mean many times and who obviously didn't love me the same. Someone who left me and was with another just after 3 months. So any thoughts on that?

My next issues is this. I went on a date last night and I had a great time! But I've been on dates before with this girl. I usually just did it to get my mind off my ex but I still never felt comfortable or relaxed or happy around her. She liked me but I didn't feel the same. But this time I went on the sate without my ex on my mind and it's been about 2 months since being on a date with this girl. Something strange happened. I had a lot of fun and I felt very relaxed and we connected. I enjoyed being with her and I want to see her again. I'm not head over heels and reacting emotionally as I'm totally over my ex. As in no pain and it doesn't affect my reality anymore. This girl and I text each other and have another date on Monday to walk at my favorite park. Here is my issue. She is not the hottest girl. I'm a cool guy as I'm sure most can tell, hopefully. I can't say she is the hottest girl to me because it's not true and that bothers me a bit. I have been pushing myself to keep that aside. I mean she is cute and nice body but not someone who I'm 100% attracted to. Even though I know this, I still want to see her and be around her and have fun with her. This never happened before. Also, a stupid point here. I am known to be with only very pretty girls and everyone says I should be with a beautiful girl. I keep thinking what other people will think of me and how they will treat her when they see her with me. Like if she was really pretty everyone will be nice to her and all. I'm scared people will look down on me because I like her. Sometimes I think why bother dating her if it won't last. Then there is this romantic side that says, dude, you like her and she is cool with you and treats you good. She agrees with me a lot and like I said, I felt comfortable with her yesterday and I felt good around her so I'm pushing aside all these thoughts. I'm wondering that just because my mind knows that she's not 100% attractive, can we able to have a healthy and good relationship? I just don't want to waste her time. I hope you all understand what I mean. I never liked a girl who I wasn't 100% attracted to. There's just something about this girl that I like and I find interesting. I personally don't think it will affect anything. At points she looks very pretty and I tell myself, that it's not like I look good all the time. We all have our moments. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Bottom line, I like her and I enjoy being around her but will this fade away just because I will think other women are prettier? Or can this work as long as I like her?

[CarrotTalker]

I don't think she would appreciate you posting a picture of her.

I am also not sure why you are doing that.

[amicon]

You're not completely over your ex,as that phonecall got you a bit worked up again.

As for the girl,why not date and get to know each other,as long as you are on the same page,but if she has feelings ,or is starting to feel more deeply about you,and you don't feel the same,you need to be honest about how you feel.

Remember,looks eventually fade,a great personality is most likely for life.

[the_original]

Man who cares if she's not made 100% in your image. You have said it yourself, she's a great girl and very fun to be around, and cute to boot! So go for it, and don't worry about the fact she may not look like a model to you. That will pass if you two ever developed real feelings for each other.