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EmoPrincess · Mar 27, 2010, 08:39 AM

My friend, who claims to be gay, which I doubt (just because he is 14, at that age I was so sure I was a lesbian, but then I realized I'm bisexual, and he gives mixed signals to both men and women), will not stop touching me. I've told him, "Stop touching me, please" many times, however he continues to "hang on" me and my other friends. Mainly me. This consists of constant hugging, forehead and cheek kisses, and random unwelcome touching (not sexual in nature). I have gone as far as hitting him. To which he responds by hugging me and apologizing. A few of my guy friends have been through the same process of asking, threatening, then hitting him in my defense. He will not stop.

I want him to stop touching me all the time, I admit I am a "huggy" person. I love giving and receiving hugs, but he takes this too far. How do I get him to stop touching me constantly without resorting to legal action?

cdad · Mar 27, 2010, 08:59 AM

Just say no. When he tries to invade you space tell him its unacceptable. If he wants you as a friend then that is a boundary he has to live with. There is nothing wrong with wanting your personal space. As defined by laws in some places that means a minimum of 3 ft distance.

EmoPrincess · Mar 27, 2010, 09:02 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Just say no. When he tries to invade you space tell him its unacceptable. If he wants you as a friend then that is a boundry he has to live with. There is nothing wrong with wanting your personal space. As defined by laws in some places that means a minimum of 3 ft distance.

Thank you

Fr_Chuck · Mar 27, 2010, 04:25 PM

At school report him to school officials,

Tell your parents, and at the end report his unwanted touching to your school couselor, or another adult.

ohsohappy · Mar 27, 2010, 04:42 PM

Say something like "Do you not have any idea what it means when I tell you to stop? I'ts not just a one time thing, i'm genuinely nOT comfortable with it at all and it's really starting to upset me that you can't respect my personal space. you either back off when I tell you or we won't be spending time together. When i say NO it means NO, not wait until later and try again, get it through your thick skull or don't bother trying to talk to me"

But I'm just blunt. :)

lea_09 · Mar 27, 2010, 04:57 PM

I would quit hanging out with him lol. I mean I was so sure I was a lesbian at 8 years old. Like I was not attracted to guys at all. When I was almost 17 the guy I wanted to date came along. Even though most of the guys I date now are metro. I am bisexual and when it comes to gay guys they are like my best friends lol. But I think your friend maybe more like a girl gay. Like does he act like girl around you? There is no way he is for sure gay until he starts to date a guy... I mean at that age boys are homo-phobes. And I am surprised your guy friends would even touch him

hheath541 · Mar 27, 2010, 05:08 PM

A firm hand planted in the middle of his chest, or forehead, to keep him at arm's distance until you can tell him you are not in the mood for a hug right now, MIGHT work.

It's very possible that he looks up to you because you are openly bi. It's also possible that he doesn't get any positive physical contact, if any at all, at home. He may just be starved for human contact, especially if his parents do not accept the fact that he's gay.

Have you tried a firm talk, in private, to explain that you need some distance sometimes?

Cyberstar · Mar 28, 2010, 03:02 PM

A person's sexuality and their actions are two separate things. Claiming to be gay does NOT give him the right to keep touching you if it makes you uncomfortable.

Tell him explicitly that you do not like his behaviour, that you find it unacceptable, and if he apologizes, tell him "sorry" means that he won't do it again, so why has he kept it up?