[steve2222]

Hi, let me start by saying that I am new to this forum. I have a problem that I can't come up to a solution with and I need help to figure out if there is one. I've been with my girlfriend for the past three years. 2 years ago we moved away together from her home town, where we met, to a different state. We are both 24. We've had some problems before but always resolved them and Im worried this might really be the end of it. It started last week when she visited her home town for St. Pattys day. I was OK with her leaving even though I knew she was just going there to drink and party. The problem started when she stayed in the living room of her friends apartment. There was also a guy or two staying in the living room with her. Apparently, she knew from jr. high or something. After I found this out I told her it was not OK with me. She didn't take my feelings into consideration and continued to stay at her friends house for the duration of her trip, when she could have stayed with other friends, or with her dad just a few blocks away. When she returned from her trip I was worried because there were pictures of one of the guys who was staying there, shirtless with his arms tightly wrapped around her. And the other guy who was staying there, she kept looking at his myspace page everyday and they still text each other. So when she got home I was irrational and asked her a million questions which I guess came off with a connotation that she had done something wrong. So I finally extinguish the doubts in my mind after I ask her enough questions that I believe her and realize I was being stupid. Then later on that day she says she is breaking up with me and moving back to her home town because she needs time away from me because I'm too overwhelming. Further more, she said that she's been unhappy with me our whole relationship because I'm "jealous" and "insecure" and "controlling". I treat her like a princess, I pay for everything, always give her her way, and let her know that I love her all the time. I've tried for two days to convince her to stay to no avail. I've begged her, pleaded, apologized, swore I would change, wrote her a freakin poem, everything I could think of to get her to stay. It just ends up pissing her off because she says I'm trying to make her feel bad. So today she finalized it by gaving her two weeks notice at her job. We live together and I have two weeks to figure out how to save our 3 year relationship. I really do love this girl with all my heart and will do anything to keep her and save our relationship. I know the situation looks pretty bleak, but any advice would be helpful.

[darkdays]

First of all young man, I'll tell you staight up. Begging and pleading or anything like that is only going to push her further away, guarranteed. So you need to completely stop with all that right now. Believe and trust me, I've been there and done that. It pushes them away.
Next thing you really need to consider is that she is probably going to need way more than just two weeks to even clear her mind or take any time to consider going back to you. Sorry, but that's just the truth of it.
If, and Im not saying there is, but if you have any chances of ever getting her back you need to let go. I know, but that's all you can do right now, trust me. People can get back together. It happens all the time. But it will take time. Pleading and begging just makes you look even worse in their eyes. I know, it seems natural to do so because you can't understand how this person that once said how much they loved you could just want to walk out of your life now. It doesn't make sense, I know. But, women do not think and act the way we do. They act totally out of instinct in every way. And her instinct is telling her to go, and when you beg and plead, her instinct tells her to run faster. That's how that works. Period. If you have any chance, it will take time. You need to go into absolute no contact what-so-ever with her. That means do not contact her in any way shape or form. Just let it go. I know it will be hard, it's going to be hard as hell. But during that time, you are going to focus on yourself. That means your life, your job, your friends, your hobbies, anything and everything except her. You need to move on. And you need to build your confidence up, because right now, it's not there, and she knows it, and that's another reason she wants to get away. And as you start to get your confidence back, you will feel better and will be better equipped to deal with any contact she may give to you later down the road.
Listen, I know it's hard, but this is all you have right now. It's the only chance you have.

[the_original]

I agree with darkdays... if you really want to get back together, let it go. Everything you are doing based on the reasons you gave us why she left will just push her away. If she left because she feels your insecure and whatever else she said, than show her your not! Get out there, and kick some butt in the world, and don't worry about her!

[amicon]

Her feelings have changed and she's leaving.

She's given up her job-that shows her level of determination.

The others are right about the no pleading,no begging and no contact.

Start living your own life,keep busy and do your own thing.

I'm sorry, but I think this relationship has run its course.

[Showme_urmove]

She had already thought about ending the relationship before she even went to her trip, its not over night for a person to feel the way they feel. She gave 2 weeks notice already and already packing her stuff to leave you and start a new life. It might sound harsh but wake up and accept the fact that no matter how much you beg, cry and give, she will never come back. Question to ask yourself, do you really want her to stay with you cause you begged for her to stay in the relationship, I sure don't.

she said that she's been unhappy with me our whole relationship because I'm "jealous" and "insecure" and "controlling".

there you go she had given you the ticket for you to accept that she is no longer yours. Fighting for a person is worth fighting for if she is also fighting for the relationship.

I've begged her, pleaded, apologized, swore I would change, wrote her a freakin poem, everything I could think of to get her to stay. It just ends up pissing her off because she says I'm trying to make her feel bad. So today she finalized it by gaving her two weeks notice at her job.

I am really sorry for your lost but she is gone, no way for you to get her back. Move on I know its hard, cause you are left in the place where you 2 made memories in, but there is nothing you can do now but just focus on yourself.

we live together and I have two weeks to figure out how to save our 3 year relationship.

instead of figuring out how to save your relationship start planning your new life without her. The sooner you accept the fact that it's the end of the road the sooner you can let go and start the healing process. It is going to be hard and you will feel alone and empty but just read the sticky on top of the forum and hope it can help you guide to your healing process.

[the_original]

Showme_urmoves... I can't send you a reply to your pm... it says you have that function blocked or something?

[Showme_urmove]

the_original how can I un block my pm?

[talaniman]

Well Steve hate to say it but if you haven't convinced her to saty after 2 years, then 2 weeks will hardly change a thing. Sorry guy, for your loss.

[markwaugh]

dude you should cahnge all of sudden and show her that you don't give a damn about her. The more u beg her the more u lose your respect and value. Just do one thing if she does go don't even think of calling her or emailing her or having any kind of contact with her. IF you fail to do that then you are never going to get her back. Make sure u severe all contacts with her and I guarantee you at the most after 8 days she will come back to u.

[TheThinker]

dude you should cahnge all of sudden and show her that you dont give a damn about her. The more u beg her the more u lose your respect and value. Just do one thing if she does go dont even think of calling her or emailing her or having any kind of contact with her. IF you fail to do that then you are never gonna get her back. Make sure u severe all contacts with her and I gurantee you at the most after 8 days she will come back to u.

How can you guarantee something like that? Playing mind games, even if they did work, would not solve any problems. If you got back together tomorrow, those issues would still be there. She gave her two weeks - if that's not a huge sign she doesn't want to work these problems out, I'm not sure what else she could do to send you the message.

I wish I could give you a better answer, but it's unfair to you to give you false hope. Trying to win her back at this point will only lock the door tighter. She's made her choice, and the best thing you can do for both of your sakes is respect it. At the very least, her last memory won't be you begging at her feet.

EDIT: Sorry - didn't realize this thread was resurrected. Hope all went for the best.

[robertwild]

Im in the same situation my girlfriend is leaving me I've begged ,and said I would change ,and I'm sorry that I hurt her . I've given up so much for her my car all my prized prosetions for her , she said I wasn't treating her good and I never kept to my word , she cheated on me before I cuaght her with a another guy and she begged me not to break up with her. So I didn't because I love her so much , she wanted me to trust her after what she had done I tried and tried it was so hard but still did my best , I do online gaming so I got her to give it a try and since then she met guys playing online and she shows more attention to them than me she's always on bbm talking to them ,anyway she went down to visit her mom and she been meeting you guys and going jolling and she never had time to talk to me on wats app , even her mom said she getting out of hand with the jolling and she said I'm old enough ill do what I want to do , and she been going out almost every night with her new friends . And then out the blue she asks me to put money into her account and I was willing to do it because she said she doesn't have food and I do care about her , so I tried but just had problems having the transfer the money didn't go through so she getting angry , she tells me its over but wants me to go fetch her and her back and then she can leave on top of that she wants me to put money in for her, and all I do is beg for her not to leave me and I messed up and ill fix myself but she doesn't want to she just says no please just put money in so I can get food