[d-low]

Hi

My heads in bits right now and I could really do with some great advice!

Here I go, I've been going out or was going out with my girlfriend for 4 years we had our ups and downs but we always got through the bad times. About 8 months ago my girlfriend used to go out every Saturday night with her friends which didn't bother me at all until I heard a couple of lads started hanging about with them and going out everyweek with them. I had a feeling something was going on with my girlfriend and 1 of these lads (this lad asked my girlfriend out before I did and she said no) so I confronted her and she said I was just being paranoid and nothing was going on. So I accepted that. Then we went on holiday abroad for my brothers wedding and we got on so great everything was perfect we talked about getting engaged, marriage, living together, having kids all the usual stuff . Once we got back of holiday she started becoming distant to me and we were both out one night and drinkn and we had a blazing row yet again over these lads and we fell out and didn't speak for nearly 2 weeks. In these 2 weeks her gran passed away, when I went round to her house there was a card there from this lad saying that he was sorry for the loss and he is always thinking of her, again I blew my top and went looking for this lad. She was adamant nothing was going on. So we didn't speak again for a week or so. When we got back in touch she said there was nothing going on but 2 nights after this I was out in my car and I seen her car parked outside this lads house she stayed the whole night. Then a week later she stayed the whole night again. I told her I seen her car and she said it wasn't what I was thinking. I packed my bags and went down the country to my brothers house for a few days. Whilst there my friend text me saying he seen her car outside his house again. So I emailed all her friends asking what was going on as I wanted answers. Non of them replied but she got in touch and got angry with me for involving other people. She eventually agreed to meet me when I got back to talk about things - she said she was sorry for what she done and she never slept with him but did kiss him. After talking for hours I decided to forgive her and we moved on. About 1 month after this I seen the lad out and decked him she went mad at me telling me she thought I wouldn't do anything. We argued but stayed together. She said she had no contact with him and had deleted his number etc out her phone- over the xmas period she left her phone out and I checked her contacts and she still had his name in, I didn't say anything and just deleted it out, the next couple of months we got on great we even booked a holiday and went abroad and had a fantastic time. Now here's what I'm getting to - the day we got back of holiday she was at a christening and was godmother and she told me he would be there as he is godfather and not to worry so I trusted her. She called me that night to say it was an OK day and we chatted about general stuff. The next day then going on for nearly 2 weeks she started ignoring my texts and calls and wouldn't see me. She said she didn't know what she wanted and needed to sort her head out. I had a bad gut feeling 1 night so I drove out in my car and there she was at his house again! I text her telling her id seen her and she didn't reply. I emailed her friends again and she has agreed to talk to me and answer my questions. I don't know what to do? Help? By her texts we are over and she is with this guy now. I asked her how she could do this to me again and how could she jump from a 4 year relationship straight into another one and her reply was she hasn't gone onto another relationship. I don't know whether to fight for her or move on as this is the 2nd time now. I think her head is messed up but she is still choosing to see this guy when I'm at home worrying sick. Is there anyone out there who could give me some advise please. I've got a feeling once wev spoke she will continue to see this guy and I don't think I could accept it. I feel like kicking his again but she said he will call the cops this time. Is there any hope or is that it has she moved on? Can she have feelings for him

[hungtoronto]

The title should read "my ex is seeing someone else" I suggest you cut contact with her. Spying on her will rip you to shred. Curiosity killed the cat. She has already moved on. Stay over night at a guy's house alone, the writing is on the wall. You're in denial mode my friend. Read the "sticky" on no contact.

[amicon]

She is your ex-and she is seeing somebody else.

You should leave her alone,and stop it with the thoughts of flooring her friend-again,and the emailing left,right and center.

Accept that it's over and move on.

[d-low]

She just text me and said she isn't seeing this lad and she's confused and doesn't know what she wants, she said she wants to talk to me tomorrow night. It maybe wishful thinking on my part but what should I do if she says she's sorry and she's made a mistake and wants to be with me again? My heart is telling me take to the chance and try again and fight for our 4 year relationship but my head is telling me to walk away and forget about her. What should I follow?

[talaniman]

Your g/f's behavior is unacceptable, and you should have left the girl long ago, when you first found out.

Maybe they were just friends, but slipping over his house and staying over night, is totally unacceptable.

Doesn't matter what she is doing, all that matters is what you do about it, and just me, she would be dumped a very long time ago.

[Newguy2009]

my heart is telling me take to the chance and try again and fight for our 4 year relationship but my head is telling me to walk away and forget about her. what should i follow?

You need to follow what your head is telling you. The heart is based on emotions and not facts.

The fact is that she slept over another guys house and lied about it. What she did / did not do is irrelevant.

Leave her now. She is a cheater and a liar!