[crystalw1005]

I am 26 my fiancée is 31. I have an IUD that is a great birth control. He tells me last night, 16 weeks before the wedding that he wants me to take it out and we should start trying for children now. This is not part of the plan. We discussed spending the first two years of our marriage enjoying each other, but now he says his biological clock is ticking. What should I do? It could be such a blessing but it could also ruin everything.

[dontknownuthin]

You need to have a candid discussion about when you are both ready to have children. If you aren't ready, wait. Waiting two years does not sound unreasonable to me. Perhaps you could compromise and start trying in one year so you can feel comfortable drinking a bit at your wedding and on your honeymoon and have time after the wedding to make an appointment with your doctor together to plan the pregnancy. He may want you to wait a few months after the IUD is removed before you get pregnant. He may advise you not to drink, to start prenatal vitamins, to gain or loose a few pounds, to stop taking a medication or whatever. It's best for your pregnancy to be planned and to be able to be your primary focus particularly for your first time.

This is a good time for you and your fiancé to learn to work together, be patient and compromise for each other. If he won't budge you need to consider whether you can make major life decisions with a person who will not work with you reasonably.

[justcurious55]

His biological clock is ticking? I'm a little suspicious of that. Where is he getting that idea? Did his dr tell him that? That's the only way I might believe that.

You both need to be really honest with each other. I'd talk to him a lot more about this before removing your IUD. I don't see any good reason to rush into having children immediately unless that's what you both are 100% certain that is exactly what you want. But still having a chance for some alone time is a good idea.