[jbjsrockangel]

How do I bring my husband and my mother closer together? I have a 1 year old daughter, and ever since she’s been born, my husband and my mother have been at war. My mother is an overaggressive person and feels like she is entitled to spend all her time with her granddaughter. My husband is a sensitive, private and over protective father and he completely disagrees. Since we live in the same home, it has become a strenuous situation as you can imagine, and has caused a strain between my family and him, with me being in the middle. She constantly wants me to bring the baby upstairs to visit, and he objects because he wants to spend time with his family as well. While I agree with him, I feel he is being too possessive and doesn’t want to compromise. Please help! I am desperate for a solution.

[Carolinadewitte]

To begin with, either you and your husband or your mother need to move out of the same home. This is important for everyone's sanity. Unless, of course, you are providing custodial care for your mother. In this case I assume she is very ill and even likely to die soon? If this is the case, then it's important that she DOES get to spend time with her grandchild, and your husband needs to recognise this. If this housekeeping setup is simply to save money for both parties, then you need to 'bite the bullet' and set up separate residences, ASAP. The strain on your relationships, both with your husband and mother aren't worth the financial savings. Once that is done, then you can work on setting up a visitation schedule for your mother. She DOES deserve to spend some time with her grandchild, and if your husband can't see this, he is very selfish and a bad example to your child. I would feel a much poorer person had I not been allowed to know all of my grandparents. They all bought a lot to my life, and taught me many things. I STILL miss them and was very blessed to have them in my life.

[KBC]

Moving out isn't abandoning your mother,it's saving a marriage.

If he is the man you love and are going to spend the rest of your life with, you have a child together,, get out.

He needs to 'man up' and make things right by you,he also needs to be the man and raise your child.He also needs to allow your mother to be a grandmother, not a mother.. you do too.

Yes,I am sure she wants to help raise the child, but that will rise to problems, not just for him, but for the child as well,identifying who is the parent,who is the grandparent, that is important.As long as you are under her roof,your husband is not in 'control' of his family,his responsibility, he can't prove he is worthy as long as you 2 are there.

Make sense?