[mymachelle]

My son will turn 2yrs next week. I'd like to get his 1st name changed, and I believe it's in his best interest. For EXAMPLE his 1st name kind of matches the father. Example name (father Clerence) my son: Claivence Jarobi Walter. My son goes by "Robi". No one ever caught on to calling him Claivence. I named him that in silly hopes of the father being involved. I want my son's name to be Jarobi Mitchell Walter. Reason being that's the name my son knows and Mitchell matches my daughter and my middle name (Machelle) I feel he identifies better as Jarobi since there's no involvement with the father. And lastly, I picked the name by myself... he had nothing to do with it... thus the child having my last name.

Facts about the father: he was not around during pregnancy or birth. Did not acknowledge paternity. Did not show up at a paternity hearing, so he's father by default. He's on the birth certificate by default. He's ordered to pay cs against his will. The cs comes monthly because it's his social security. He's now pissed because he's father by default. Now asks me for private dna and I'm saying no need for it, but I will abide by the courts.

Current case: he had the consent of name change form, but decided not to sign. He says signed will farther admitt he's the dad. Says he will contest in court. I try to tell him that judge may not want to hear both cases. BTW he was denied once july/09 to motion for DNA. Basically he won't sign because I won't give him a private dna test. I was in court april/09 like I was summoned to be. He could've asked for it then.

He has never touched my son. Has seen him maybe 5 times. No calls, nothing. Only the support that is given automatically through the government.

ANYONE THINK I HAVE A CHANCE? I DON'T MIND DNA IF JUDGE SAYS SO. I JUST WANT BABY'S 1ST NAME CHANGED TO WHAT WE CALL HIM NOW. Thanks for input!

[Fr_Chuck]

Actually he is the father because you had sex with him and got pregnant.

He is the father because he had a child with you. That does not make him a good father, nor does it mean he has anything to do with the child.

You will need the bio fathers permission to change the name.

A private DNA test is not any good for court and would be a waste of time and money

He can petition the court for a DNA test.

Name change normally does not go though that court and just will not be heard without both parents permission.

The time frame to even ask for DNA tests vary by state, in some it is to late to even ask for one, in others no.

[mymachelle]

Actually he is the father because you had sex with him and got pregnant.

He is the father because he had a child with you. That does not make him a good father, nor does it mean he has anything to do with the child.

You will need the bio fathers permission to change the name.

a private DNA test is not any good for court and would be a waste of time and money

He can petition the court for a DNA test.

Name change normally does not go though that court and just will not be heard without both parents permission.

The time frame to even ask for DNA tests vary by state, in some it is to late to even ask for one, in others no.

I understand the judge decides on what's best for the child, and will listen to both sides. The father doesn't give reason as to why my son's first name should not be changed. And if he goes into court saying he's not sure if he's the father... isn't that reason enough for the judge to say then this shouldn't have anything to do with you then?

[cdad]

If you ask me I would advise you both to stop playing games. Its really a shame. Maybe if the games stop the loving can begin. You want something. Why not give up something to get it. It's that simple. Let him get the dna test done. Let it be private. That way he can get the answers he wants. Either way you can get the name change after the testing. Make a deal and get it done. If you want to use the courts and you both keep playing games the courts will look down on the both of you. So stop the games and start acting like parents. Your supposed to be the adults in this situation.

[mymachelle]

If you ask me I would advise you both to stop playing games. Its really a shame. Maybe if the games stop the loving can begin. You want something. Why not give up something to get it. Its that simple. Let him get the dna test done. Let it be private. That way he can get the answers he wants. Either way you can get the name change after the testing. Make a deal and get it done. If you want to use the courts and you both keep playing games the courts will look down on the both of you. So stop the games and start acting like parents. Your supposed to be the adults in this situation.

Thanks for your input. But actually I was the ADULT to show up in court 4/09 like I was supposed to. I'd rather handle everything through the court because some people you just can't make deals with. Actually the other night I figured I'd go on with the private dna because I want my son's name changed and that's more important to me. I DID make a deal by asking him to sign the paper and get dna done on the same day. And he still has a problem with this. He's the type of person who will get positive dna results... and still refuse to consent to the name change. Nothing is working with this guy. My fault for dealing with such a person.

I figure if the judge denies me, then we'll call my son what I want. Write his legal name on legal documents. And when he's 18, he can change the name himself.