[vmcarter]

Hi, I’m a 1st year uni student and didn’t go out with the class much as I prefer staying in. My class haven’t bothered to get to know me and I have found they talk behind my back. They say I work too hard, cry too much and I think no one likes me. It's bugging me.

I work my butt off and always like a challenge so that’s what motivates me but this nastiness gets me down. I don’t know what I am doing wrong.

My friends say its jelousy because I’m a threat as I am doing a film course and everyone knows it's competitive but I don’t see it as jelousy. I'm average looking, I work hard, I am getting 2.1s (quite a few of the class are getting 1sts) so I don’t see what there is to be jelous of.

Has anyone got any idea of why this is happening? All I have done is tried with them and it gets thrown back in my face.

[justcurious55]

My class haven’t bothered to get to know me

How is it there responsibility to get to know you? If you want friends, you have to take the first step and make an effort to get to know people. You mentioned you prefer to stay in. there's nothing wrong with that. But then you have to find other people to stay in with you or at least occasionally go out. What efforts have you made to get to know your classmates?

[Gemini54]

They say I work too hard, cry too much and I think no one likes me. It's bugging me.

Well perhaps you do work too hard and cry too much. Doesn't sound too attractive to me, LOL.

Try to lighten up a little and get involved in a few things - hiding in your room won't achieve much.

If you're involved in film then there must be heaps of things you can do, and lots of activities around the uni.

[dontknownuthin]

You have excluded and rejected them, so they are now not your friends. When people try to involve you in a group you have to extend yourself a bit. If you don't, they aren't going to know you well and that's your fault, not theirs.

As for the crying and all that, well, are they right?

I'd say that if you want to be friends with these people, you need to act like a friend - invite them for a drink, or tag along with the group next time they go out, relax and show an interest in the others.

I really doubt that they are jealous of you. Sounds like they are pretty confident and enjoying the school program, making friends and supporting each other. They probably rather think you are missing out.

[justcurious55]

You know, I've actually been a loner through out a lot of school. I'm shy. A lot of people mistook my shyness as being stuck up. Well, this year in one of my classes, I decided I didn't want to be a loner in that class. A lot of the people seemed like they had great personalities and the teacher is often late. So instead of choosing to stay in my little comfort zone off in the corner, I switched seats. Then I took my next baby step and joined in on the conversation. To someone more social, this probably is no big thing. But this was a big step for me. I don't jump into conversations with strangers. But now I have people to talk to in that class. But the thing is, I had to take that first step. They weren't going to come to me. I had to put myself out there and you'll have to do the same if you want friends.