[ayister]

What is wrong with me? I'm scared of this person that I have become and I want to say that I'm suffering from depression. However, I'm not sure if it's that or just me... being so "in love" with my boyfriend. Does it seem like an obsession? Over-clingyness? I need some honest opinions because I really don't now what's going on.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We go to different colleges, but since his university is 1 1/2 hours away he comes back every weekend. This semester he has lessened that to every other week, which was a huge change for me. The first time he told me I got depressed and started crying in school. I can't drive because my parents won't let me even though I'm already a sophomore in college. Visiting him at his university is therefore impossible. He told me that he can't come back every weekend anymore because school is getting hectic and stuff, which of course I understand. However, on those weekends he ends up going out and drinking a lot with this roommates (Mind you, there is only 1 guy among 6 other girls. He said he gets along better with girls than guys. Lucky me, huh?). I know he loves me very much, but I can't help but feel so insecure and jealous when he's out at some college party and he can't talk to me. The past three semesters together he called and texted me a lot. We would always talk through instant messenger and webcam. I felt connected to him this way despite the distance. This semester is completely different though... He acquired a really close group of friends at his new dorm, which is composed mostly of girls. He doesn't call me much... I usually have to initate it. When I do call he can only talk for a little bit. I get online and when he's on I talk to him. We talk continuously for 5 minutes, but usually he tends to slow down in responses. It takes him 20 min or more in between messages because he gets distracted with friends coming in the room. I'm so extremely jealous of these girls and friends he chooses to hang out with over talking to me, and I don't know how to control it. It really seriously hurts me and I have become so overly sensitive. Our phone conversations mean the world to me, and a lot of times he is too nonchalant and whatever. He doesn't seem to care or miss me as much as I miss him. When we hang up I always end up throwing my phone and crying. It hurts me so much that I think about how it'd feel like if I killed myself and if he would regret treating me like this. Stupid and crazy, right? I just don't know what to do.

I feel so trapped. I live at home and my mom drives me to school. When I don't see or talk to him, I feel like my life is so routine and I have nothing to look forward to. I cry often and I don't feel like getting up and going to school many mornings.

Oh, and in addition to all of this... he's leaving for China in May for three months. He is studying abroad in order to fulfill certain degree requirements. I'm so insecure and sad about this. My sisters tease me about how he's going to find a Chinese girl during the summer, and even though I know he loves me and reassures me that nothing will happen, I can't help but feel like every time I think about it. I don't know what I'm going to do when this time comes. I don't even know what to do right now when I see him every other week.

I really need some help. I don't know what to do, guys. :( Thanks for reading.

[talaniman]

This is a common dilemma among very young people in a long distance relationship. To be honest the age has no bearing on the fact that the imaginations can run wild by either partner.

He doesn't worry as much because your home with family, and are limited in your own freedom ( don't drive, and your sisters teasing doesn't help your already insecure attitude). So basically with no social outlets but school, you have too much time on your hands to think of him. While he on the other hand, has many friends, and activities with room mates (girls) so he is always busy with something other than you. Read these sites,

Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky

Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

I think you really do need more of a social life, that includes friends, and activities that distract, and entertain you, while you get some sort of enjoyment that makes you happy without him for now. You have to have something good to share with your partner besides just listening to all the things he is doing.

You do have friends to hang with, and take you to fun places don't you? You need your own social life to lift your spirit, because he can do nothing since he is not there. And his upcoming trip means even greater distance between you? Yes you need a life you enjoy without him. Definitely, and learn to drive.

Right now it seems your whole world is wrapped up in him, and that's not healthy.

[miss0bates]

I would feel the same way. Jealousy and paranoia is not a good thing, espically as your far away from. You have to remember he's enjoying his time at uni, and you need to keep yourself busy, keep your mind distracted. Otherwise more thoughts are gana be building in your head and you'll end up occusing him of things and pushing him away. But also remember your young, I know you say you lovve him and I'm not saying you don't just try and not make your whole life about him. Go out and enjoy yourself, I'm not saying purposly make him jealous, just show him you can have fun too. Don't make yourself dependent on him.

[positiveparent]

You need to get some other interests you're appearing to be revolving your world around this person, and that's not healthy for you or him.

You say you have sisters why not go out with them for the evening, if not them you could go out with your g/friends, you need to develop other interests though, this will also help you with your b/f, you'll have more intersting topics of discussion and won't be so clingy with him, do as he's doing.

Hes being normal, he has friends and other interests and yet still maintains his relationship with you.

You need to do as he does, get out there and live your life, don't confine yourself to merely existing when he's not around it is really bad for your relationship to do this, you're making it the centre of your life and its not, its part of the whole, you will end up destroying the relationship by having no positive input into it.

Also when he goes to china, you worrying and stressing about what he may or may not get up to isn't going to make any difference, if he is meant to meet someone else he will, and same with you, but by your focusing on and making the relationship the centre of your universe you'll end up destroying it.