[Winning11]

My boyfriend told me "You should visit the hairdresser more often to get you're hair done and take care of the extras". It was very hurtful. Love means accepting the other partner with the good and bad stuff. Am I overreacting?

[Wondergirl]

Yes. Magazines and TV flood us with photos and videos of beautiful women with perfect hair. Reality TV does makeovers for fat people, too-casually-dressed people, plain people, people with visible scars or wrinkles or hanging skin or varicose veins, and anything else that producers think should be fixed and would attract an audience.

Your boyfriend has bought into the makeover thing. Of course, HE'S already perfect... Ask him for ideas and tips and suggestions as to what he thinks you need to do to improve your hair and appearance. Then, think about it. Does he have good ideas? Or not? What does he mean by "extras"? -- streaking, trimming, covering gray, roots showing? Do you keep your hair clean? Does it need shine?

We all can stand improvement now and then, but NEVER redo yourself to please someone else. Taking suggestions, though, is okay.

[justcurious55]

Depending on his reason for saying it, I can see how it can be hurtful. My boyfriend tells me I should go and get my nails done more often. Not because he really cares how my nails look, but because he knows I enjoy being pampered and if I go out and get it done, he gets out of rubbing my feet. :) but if he said it being critical, I'd be pretty upset too. If you're happy with you hair, then don't do anything more with it. Like wondergirl said, never redo yourself to please someone else.

[Gemini54]

I don't know.

I guess you could take it either way - perhaps he thinks you'd look more lovely if you had a good haircut?

... Love can also mean caring about how the other person looks.

Unless he meant to be critical, why does it have to be hurtful?

[talaniman]

Just tell him he is rude, and unless he is paying for it, shut the f''k up!

Doubt if he goes there after that!