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songbirdsang · Mar 7, 2010, 11:45 AM

Hi there.
I am a professional singer and work with a pianist. Together we perform weekly at a hotel and occasionally in other venues. I live downtown and the hotel is quite a way away and I do not drive, so I take the subway then a bus, and my pianist picks me up for the rest of the journey, then after the gig he drops me off directly at a subway station for safety reasons. We have been doing this for five months and never had a problem before.
Last week, I was unwell and my pianist offered to pick me up and drop me off at home. He is an older Indian gentleman, married with two grown sons. Later that night at 1.40 am I got an email from his wife saying she did not want him picking me up or dropping me off anywhere. She offered to do it instead, which I respectfully refused. Now she insists that all our rehearsals take place at their house under her supervision, and she still insists he cannot pick me up or drop me off anywhere. I sent her an courteous email saying I felt insulted and that we were both adults and professionals. She still insists. Now I am afraid I cannot continue working with this pianist, which means I will loose a substantial part of my income. What can I do? Does this constitute harassment? Is there anything in the law that makes this kind of interference illegal? Thanks for your help!

Fr_Chuck · Mar 7, 2010, 12:07 PM

There is not illegal about this and nothing you can do. You can perhaps get your own car or arrange your own transportation.

This does not mean you can't work, it merely means you have to get your own transportation to get to work

songbirdsang · Mar 7, 2010, 02:59 PM

Thank you for your suggestions. Unfortunately I do not drive (I don't even have a license), and the hotel is so far away that it would take me about 2 hours to get there. The hotel does not pay me well and I cannot afford taxis. I have a broken backbone and though I pride myself on being able to function like any healthy person, I cannot walk around with a 12 pound bag for two hours. If my co-worker cannot pick me up, I simply cannot get there. Believe me I have tried to find a reasonable way. I WILL loose my job there. Is she really allowed to interfere in this way? Thank you.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 7, 2010, 03:06 PM

Yes, it is his wife and she can "make" her husband do what ever she wants, as long as he agrees or allows it.

Of course she offered to drive you and you rejected that offer. In fact she could go with both of you to the shows.

excon · Mar 9, 2010, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by songbirdsang

Believe me I have tried to find a reasonable way. I WILL loose my job there. Is she really allowed to interfere in this way? Thank you.

Hello song:

I suppose she IS allowed to run her husbands life even if it does interfere with your work. If you're going to lose him anyway, why don't you write her a certified letter saying that if her continued interference results in LOST income, you'll SUE her.

excon

AK lawyer · Mar 9, 2010, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by excon

I suppose she IS allowed to run her husbands life even if it does interfere with your work. If you're going to lose him anyway, why don't you write her a certified letter saying that if her continued interference results in LOST income, you'll SUE her.

Threatening to sue when you know you don't have grounds for a suit is just plain unethical -- whether one is a lawyer or not.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 9, 2010, 07:05 PM

I would agree with excon, telling someone you will sue, is common practice to scare people, And of course if one did not sue when they know there was not grounds, 1/2 the lawyers would be out of work, since they sue when someone pays them to sue, often knowing they will not will.

twinkiedooter · Mar 12, 2010, 02:53 PM

What is your objection to this woman? Is she that obnoxious to be around to practice at his house? Just wondering what sort of "law" prevents her from meddling into her husband's business is not enough. A wife has a carte blanche to meddle into her husband's business if it means he spends time alone with a female in a car or practicing in a place other than their home.

If this means so much to you that your extra income would be affected by just going along with this woman's suggestions, something does not sound right with your story. I'm reading much more than just a fellow employee into this scenerio - more like a boyfriend and girlfriend scenerio and wifey would make an uncomfortable threesome.