[jsw6016]

My son is a senior in high school - report card: 3 Fs, 1 D, He probably won't pass his senior year. He has these grades because he refuses to do any school work in or out of school! He has SAT scores of 550-575 in each of the three categories. Now he is upset because he is getting rejection letters from colleges. He's a lug, talks of getting a job but no follow through. Can't find any way to motivate him. People say we should kick him out - how do you do actually do that? What to do? PS He is pleasant when he's home and does minor household chores.

[Blue Angel]

There may be some underlying issues that are causing him to act out this way, of course he could just be lazy and require a serious reality check. You may want to enroll him in counseling. It's often easier to talk to a stranger about personal issues than it is to talk to family or friends. You can't kick your child out of your home if he is under the age of 18.

[450donn]

How much money a week do you give him? Make sure it is ZERO! IF he wants something tell him to get a job and buy it.

[Jenniferlw]

I found out I had a learning disability when I was filling out exit papers to graduate senior year. If school has always been hard try Google to look up dyslexia. Sorry, but it's mostly overlooked but it's a real disability and effects you socially as well. Never give up on your kids... help them find the answers... it's your job.

[Kitkat22]

Your son is at least trying to get into college. Somehow he has fallen through the cracks. Take him to a good doctor and have him tested for ADD or ADHD or other learning disabilities. You may be surprised to learn he has one. Good Luck

[Cyberstar]

I would say the fact that he's upset over getting rejection letters indicates on some level that he cares about his education. He's made it to his senior year in high school. How has his track record been in school up to this point, how long has these problems been going on, and what type of feedback has his teachers given?

Poor grades and lack of motivation are symptoms. You need to figure out the cause of these problems.

[Clough]

Hi, jsw6016!

I remember a private piano student that I had many years ago. It wasn't until he was a senior in high school that doctors declared him to be learning disabled.

Has your son ever been tested for a learning disbility?

Thanks!

[Jake2008]

You call your own son a 'loser' and a 'lug'?? Do you call him these lovely names to his face, or are you just frustrated.

If he is falling behind in school, and not motivated to find a job etc. what have you done to motivate him. Have you talked to his teachers, had him assessed, disciplined him by insisting on curfews, and taking away the car keys when he doesn't comply?

Does he have chores, expectations, an allowance? Who pays for his cell phone, and do you keep the peace by not denying him anything, and is that possibly a reason why he is 'a lug'? Has he ever actually had to earn anything?

You are doing him no favours by not having expectations, followed by consequences. We all have to learn that self-worth, confidence, and pride, has to come from doing, and earning those things that he takes for granted.

Set some boundaries, write up a chart if you have to. Take control, decide together on consequences, and let him earn the privledges he has, instead of allowing him to think he is simply entitled to them.

[Kitkat22]

As mother I will say this don't call your son a loser. Imagine how he probably feels about himself. It's no easy thing when you reached the end of your rope, but just tie a knot and hang on to it. He'll make you proud, wait and see. Blessings :):):)