[tidus]

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months which I realize isn't a great amount of time. She is 18 and I am 21 we are very much in love and have already had sex on numerous occasions however she doesn't like actually touching my penis or giving me oral sex. Recently she opened up to me and told me that she had been raped by her ex boyfriend when she was younger, and her last boyfriend left her for her best friend because she wasn't very sexually motivated.
So understanding this I realize that in her eyes that trusting me and the thought of having sex is actually quite un-nerving, I also find it extremely hard to give her an Orgasm as she is not emotionally invested in our love making and becomes extremely self conscious.
What makes this hard is that she won't talk to me about any of it. Whenever I mention sex she becomes very quite and I would like to get her to talk about her rape experience so she can move on however I don't want her to re live the experience and become more insecure. I never get angry at her when she will not talk however I know she can feel my frustration sometimes.
I hope I am not being too selfish please any advice would be nice

Thank you L

[Fr_Chuck]

I doubt talking to you about the rape will do the healing, she may need to talk about it to a professional.

It can take years and years ( and some women never get over) a rape. So going into this you will have to be willing to accept her the way she is NOW and merely hope it may improve

[neverme]

She needs to see a professional.

You can support her through this process but you cannot fix it for her. As Chuck said she may never 'get over' this.

This is not going to be an easy or short process, make sure you are in it for the long run.

Best of Luck.

[smoothy]

Just make sure she gets professional counseling to help her through this... I've known a few rape victims personally, and can state that everyone heals at their own rate... for some it can be a very, very long process.