[crazyforcoffee]

HI everyone... its nice to have read and learn from other peoples experiences here.
As for me maybe anyone could help me or advice me on what shall I do.
As a background I had a long time boyfriend for 7 years. We broke up 3 years ago and we had separate ways.
I must admit even though we were apart I still have feelings for him.
His working in middle east already and I'm in other country as well. I have already accepted that we
Have had separate lives now but a year ago his said he wanted me back. Though I love him I know its impossible
To be the relationship to work because it had broken before even if together what more now we are separated. So there I said no.
Anyway I met someone in one of the community I am here. His really nice and we became friends (and his actions shows he more than likes me) and I don't why the destiny is playing around or what because
His attitudes and some features are of like my ex... funny? Because he reminds me a lot of my ex. So now I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to fall in love with this new guy
Because I see resemblance with my ex. Should I face my ex and reconsider us since I love him still and we see if we could rekindle the past if we could make it work this time since we
Both still in love each other. We try the long distance and the if it ddnt work then its over.
Because I find it unfair right for the other guy that I only really goes out as a friend in my part but he is expecting more than that...
Help me guys... thanks...

[I wish]

The new guy is just a rebound. That's unfair to him, so leave him alone.

As for your ex, is distance the only reason you broke up? Sounds both of you still want to get back together. Are you jobs completely preventing you from being together?

[crazyforcoffee]

Hi I wish no ;we broke up because of immaturities and differences because we were young then and it was our first relationship. We were 16-21 hahaha we are both in the same country then, so now that we are apart we kind of matured and I guess we learn things the hard way. Yeah I feel guilty for the other guy, but I'm confuse why I like him?

Anyway I have a stable job here and I need this job whereas his job there I'm sure he enjoys it because his a team leader and his enjoying his job too. So actually I don't know how we will survive anyway but I don't want him to give his job there if ever and mine too because we are not sure anyway.

[talaniman]

Option 1- ex from the young years been over with though.

Option2-New guy, but not a match in the romance dept.

Go for Option 3- Keep 1 & 2 as friends and enjoy your life until #3 shows up.

Why settle for less than you really want? What are you lonely or something? Horny, or what? What's the hurry to have a guy?

[crazyforcoffee]

Hi talaniman thanks for the that options... okay here's the things
I'm not really in a hurry its been 3 years since I had a love life. I do date before (but I got really tired of it) but for me beds are off limits if his not my boyfriend (because I trust) just a personal preference. Then yeah I'm horny at times I admit but abstain from it just my preference. Anyway I think I bore men without the sex thing but for there's just one guy, the new guy who dates me, and doesn't expect it, which is good. But he reminds so much of my ex that I still got feelings grr... hehe I hate the feelings it gives me headache anyway, that's why I'm so confused

[talaniman]

LOL, I can see why your confused as this fellow has trait your boyfriend had, and is a similar type of guy you like. I can dig that, its just a preference you have for a certain type. Nothing wrong with that, or the fact your comfortable with this fellow.

I think you just need a bit more time to let your emotional dust settle from the ex is all.

You say your tired of the dating scene, but have you thought about groups that cater to hobbies and activities you like? Having a life you enjoy is a key to keeping life in the proper perspective I feel.

Then there is volunteering, as there is no greater sense of power than sharing and giving to others who have a need you can help them meet. A totally awesome attitude adjustment.

Just more options for you to consider.

[crazyforcoffee]

Hi again... can you call me crazy if I said I've been in love with the same person for 12 years now... we only been officially together for 7 years the rest we are separated. And as I journey my life with out him here goes a guy that acts, and reminds me more of him... thanks for your time... I'm just tired of this feeling I been trying to get rid for so long yet still lingers me...

[talaniman]

Then you have to be proactive in stepping outside your comfort zone and make some changes to have other people and activities in your life that you enjoy.

If this guy is your only outlet for happiness, then you are boxing yourself into a corner, and depriving yourself of a lot of options, and opportunities, to be happy with yourself, and what your doing.

[crazyforcoffee]

talaniman, THAk YOU for your advice I will try to something really out of the box forme... maybe its been awhile and if its for me then its will happen but for now I am tired and I want to really be happy... thanks much

[I wish]

I'm sure that the two guys that you've been referring to are nice, but there are 6+ billion other people in the world. I'm sure that you will be able to find happiness elsewhere as long as you give yourself the opportunity to do so.