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    gbaby's Avatar
    gbaby Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 25, 2006, 03:46 PM
    I love her... too much?
    Love was defined to me as God. God is love and love is God. So is it safe to assume that love is also unconditional as Jesus has for us? I met this girl nearly two years ago. She is a free spirited girl that just can't seem to be happy. We talked for 4 or 5 hours every night for three months. When I got off work at 11:00 pm I would drive 1 and a half hours to see her every other night. Its pretty safe to say that I fell in love with her in a very short time. It was only 4 months into our relationship when things went sour. She began dating her ex again. She convinced me that she was confused and to give her more time to figure out what she wanted and I did. I gave her too much time. She lied to me regularly and I even believe she slept around with not only her ex but with others. She has all these flaws in personality but I can't seem to stop loving her. I still do. Love is unconditional right? For some reason there isn't a thing in this world this girl could do that would sway my feelings for her. Is it wrong that I am feeling this unconditional and forever forgiving love? Do I need help? I have fell apart since I met her. I have gone from a prominent police officer to nothing. My financial life is a wreck. I just wish I could start over and wipe my debt clean and go to school. I have matured so much. I have my goals in sight and I just want a clean slate. I know I was put here for more than what I have done but I just can't seem to get there. Any advice would be forever appreciated.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Nov 25, 2006, 05:14 PM
    The love that God has for us, is great, but we can not love that way since we are humans, plus real love grows, it is something that starts as lust and attraction and grows to real love.

    You can't really love her, since she has enver returned that love, there was no growing, no mature relationship to work on. You may have fell in love, but you have imaged and dreamed more into this than there ever was.

    So you just start over, get counseling if you can't do it alone, start dating, you don't have to be lookoing for MS right, just date, get active again.
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #3

    Nov 25, 2006, 05:26 PM
    gbaby,

    Having unconditional love does not mean we wait around for someone who is looking around for something better, and if that doesn't work out they will give us a call. Unconditional love is something we choose to give to others, but we need to remember to give it to ourselves also, that and respect. Allow her to go and find whatever it is she is looking for. And in the meantime you must simply get on with your own life. Even if she returns, what's to stop her from taking off again. I don't mean to imply that moving on will be easy or painless, but you already know that it is the right thing to do.

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