[perplexed1]

It's a funny paradox but I'm sure it's not something unique to me. Basically for all the girls that I'm attracted to enough to ask them out, it never works out for some reason or another (they're seeing someone else, just not interested, or in the latest case I had a fling with their best friend over a year ago which would make things too awkward for them). Then on the opposite side of the spectrum, the girls that are interested in me, I have no reciprocal feelings towards (either I know they're on the rebound, I just wasn't attracted to them or they were just way too pushy which turned me off).

I'm not the kind of guy that's interested in a friends-with-benefits relationship, so while that situation might solve some of the previous problems, I have no interest in it. Luckily I'm still in college and there's plenty of chances to keep trying, but it's just getting frustrating running into the same problem every time for the past 3 years. Any suggestions? Might it be that the type of girl that I'm attracted to isn't the right type for me? I don't think the issue is that I have my standards set too high, I think it might be that I'm attracted to the wrong type of personality.

[Scleros]

Have you actually dated all these women for any length of time or are the attracted/not-attracted dispositions set upon initial meeting?

[Jake2008]

Maybe you are making judgments too quickly.

The ones you date that you don't feel instant sparks with, might be worth a second date, or another chance. Often just getting through the stress of getting through a date without choking on a pickle, or snorting your coke, is considered success. Especially when you are there to impress your date.

Appearing, or trying to appear over confident often masks nervousness. It takes more than a date to really know if it will result in a third.

Another thing you might want to consider, is a good hard look at yourself, and I mean that in the kindest way possible. Are you a good listener? Do you put your date at ease? Do you have a good sense of humour? Do you follow up with an email or phone call the next day?

If your experiences seem to always go one way regardless of who you date, and the outcome is always the same as you say, maybe time to switch horses, try different approaches, and think of only having fun, and a nice evening.

You could be putting too much pressure on yourself to 'succeed'.

[talaniman]

Call me old, but dating was supposed to be about fun, and something to work up to, after establishing some sort of common ground or communications.

Hanging out as friends, or at events, a few times was the way it was back in the day.

Not really about romance, unless you were already an item. While rejection was rampant in the 60's, and 70's, for romance, partying, and friendship, was in.

Which brings me to,

Talaniman Rule-Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18-80, blind, cripple, or crazy.

That way you don't worry about types, and you will have fun, if you're a fun guy.

Plus you never know if someone is worth pursuing, until you get to know them.

Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs to see which one won't hop away.

Confession- A lot of them hopped away, so quit complaining, and keep the chap stick handy.

Rejections don't even count! Comes with the territory. Just enjoy being yourself. You'll be okay

[jaime90]

You can change what kind of women are attracted to you... Give out a positive attraction, not a negative one... like a magnet, and positive, decent women will become interested. It's all about what kind of man you are, that will attract certain kind of women. Also, remember that sometimes, opposites attract. If you're shy, there's a good chance you'll end up attracting outgoing girls... and vice versa.