[Shinobi]

Ok my girl friend and I have been together for 1.5 years. My girlfriend has been through a lot in her life, she was a rape baby( her mother was raped and had her ) she was an alcoholic at the age of 14. She smoked since she was 13 and she's had sex since she was 13. All her boyfriend before me used her for sex and cheated on her all time. She has only been in love once before me to a person that didn't care for her at all and she stayed in love with him for 3 years. Anyway she's been through a lot in life. I meet her at school in my biology class. I was getting out of a bad relationship that really had my head messed up. She was there for me and I knew that she liked me and I liked her but I was stubborn about my feelings for my EX so I ignored it to a point where I almost lost her and realized what I was doing. After that day I took great care of her. I took her to Prom. Made sure she was always happy and she said she'd she loved me more than ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!! More than I loved her. Now.. she graduates from high school and gets a job, she works at Target and I work at Home Depot because her parents were moving away and she wanted to stay here in Florida with me. After a month of working at this job one day I feel like talking to her and I called her like 5 times when she was at work. The next week later she breaks up with me for THAT reason. I was devastated... and I still am. She has started a relationship with another man at work,(she is 19 and this guy is 33 with 2 kids and I thinkg he's still married)... and she's already had sex with him which bothers me a lot. She called me one day and invited to a carnavel we go to every year and she said she "Wouldn't want to go with anyone else." So I go and she crys and crys and crys... we rode 3 rides and we stayed there for 4 hours with her telling me she's sorry and she loves me and she wants to be with me and kiss me and hug and held my hand "BUT" she's not ready for this relationship. I say OK. Suddenly she goes back to this guy and she kisses him even after she told him it was over. She is a very american woman she speaks no spanish and this guy bearly speaks english and she just... can't let him go even though she knows and she has told me herself he is using her for sex and she says she feels "NUMB" like she can't feel what she's doing is wrong or sad about it. So here I am going through terrible thoughts and I want to be with her I really do and she does too but she says she just wants space... so what do you guys think I should do? BTW I am going tomorrow rto spend thanks giving with her at her families house. I NEED HELP!!

AND!.
She still tells me she loves me and she wants me to "let her come to me" that she needs her space...

[Krs]

She sounds many confused.
I personally think she needs to seek professional help such as a physcologist. I believe she is doing what she is doing to hide some burden and problems she fells she has, it's a cover up.

I also believe that if you stay with this girl be prepared for lots of heart ache.
Im sorry, but that's I feel after reading your post.

She is a troubled girl.

[talaniman]

Hate to say it, she needs help and lots of it, you can't give it to her. Better to back out of her life, and get on with yours.

[phillysteakandcheese]

While I completely understand your desire to be the “white knight” that rides in and “rescues her” from all of her problems, the hard reality is that there is likely no one that can ever do that for her.

Some people are broken. They need long-term and on-going professional help. They will never have a "normal" relationship, and their partner will never be able to "fix" them.

The best thing for you is to accept that this girl has problems that she is going to have to work out. Accept that you can't fix them for her. Accept that her problems may ultimately result in there being no future with her.

[s_cianci]

Give her the space she needs. I'd go without contacting her at all for a while. Keep in mind you're dealing with a very dysfunctional person here. She doesn't really sound like viable relationship material to me. Either way, I'd put her on the back burner for now and concentrate on other things. She may come back to you but don't count on it. Being aloof and not so available will increase your chances.