[luluhoney]

I really need advice,I cannot stress how much my daughter has gone threw with her abusive partner and I think she's becoming ill and needs help,she's been with her partner for 3 yrs on and off and they have a daughter that's nearly 2,my daughter has always been depressed and had problems,but when she met her partner he made her feel good,within a month she fell pregnant of meeting this guy,and I actually liked him for the first year.until the baby was born that's when the problems started,she left him 3 times as she said he was controlling,abusive and hit her when drunk! He was always pleading for her back and she always did.throughout all these 3 yrs to keep things short he,hit her,stole her rent money,put her down and isolated her from everyone,I wouldent say he was a cheat because he wanted to be with her every single moment [if not working] and make sure she wasent seeing anyone,they had a break and both of them slept with someone else,she told him and he made out it was far more worse.he punched her in the face and stole her money,I won't lie,my daughter can be a very nasty person if she has had a drink and I mean a monster!! The last split they had they were trying for a baby but he left her for having a go at him when she had a drink and she was very nasty,she told him she was pregnant and he said he was coming back but then changed his mind because she was talking to an old friend even though she was female,a few mounths went by and me and her father really thought this was it,it took me 4 weeks to pick her up and she decided to have an abortion,in this time of split,he got with someone else and got her pregnant in which he made out he was happy and rubbed it in because my daughter also got with someone else too.she had the abortion and seemed happy with her boyfriend,until the ex came back as things did not work out with his REBOUND as they call it, and she split up with her boyfriend and got back with him,I just don't understand,why is she doing this to herself,she had the abortion also.does she need help? She is quite abusive herself and I think she has low self esteem,please help,I don't know how to get her out of this misery,although she is a brilliant mum,I'm worried she will fall back in the dark hole again .

[justcurious55]

I hate to say it, but at this point there is little you can do for your daughter aside from be there for her and hope she'll get herself out of her mess. It sounds like they both have issues with alcohol and need anger management. You can suggest that they, or at least she, seeks it. But there's no way for you to make her go. She definitely should not be drinking alcohol if she is depressed or has had issues with depression. But again, you can't make her stop drinking, only tell her your thoughts on it. I am worried about your grand child though. Where is the toddler when all of this is going on? That doesn't sound like a safe place for a little kid. Even if you can't get your daughter out of the mess, you may be able to get your grand child out of it, it it's not safe for the child with the two of them drinking and fighting.

[Fr_Chuck]

Until she wants to , or is willing to, she will not leave. Just be there when she is ready

[cdad]

She has issues and only she can decide when she has had enough. But the next time anybody gets in a fight there you need to call CPS to remove the child. She will have a choice. Give up the child or remove herself from the abusive situation. It doesn't work both ways. Also did she go to court and start child support on him when they broke up? If she hasn't she better think about doing that now. Otherwise the other baby could be first in line and she might not get anything.

She needs to grow up. And drinking doesn't help.

[babysaver]

Artlady, if you call CPS then you could be considered a relative placement while your daughter works through what her next step is. This is the safest step for your grandchild. Much luck.