[tubes]

I was in a relationship for 7 years with my girlfriend. We just brok up a month ago, and I realize that I made a lot of mistakes in our relationship. I want her back. She says she needs time to focus on her school. Yesterday we had a long talk and she told me she dosen't want to be with me romantically anymore and gave me the line that we could be friends. I suggested we could be "friends with benefits" hoping she will come back to me and she agreed! We spent the night together and had talks about a lot of things. We haven't had that much fun together in a while and after she said she still felt the same way. If I keep doing this will she eventually see that we are great together or am I setting myself up for more pain down the road?

[redhed35]

I have yet to see a friends with benefits work out,9 times out of 10 someone wants more.. in this case its you.

I don't know why its called friends,do your friends leave you feeling lost hurt and confused?

No,didn't think so.

You have broken up,all your both doing to hiding behind a pretend sham of a 'friendship' cushioning each others hurt.

Sex does not keep a relationship together,not will it make someone want you for the long run.

You have now become a nice handy shag, she has no responsibility for your feelings and you have let her off the hook for any commitment.

Stop.stop the sex.

Either talk things out and get back together or move on.

What your both doing is using each other,not much love or respect going on.

[neverme]

No. Not necessarily, she may it is possible but not likely.

That is not what is entailed in friends with benefits. It is just sex, it can be fun but if your heart is in it, it will hurt more if she finds someone that she can have sex with and a relationship.

My advice would be to move on or get back together, somewhere in the middle is no fun, especially when you have real feelings for her.

Ask her if she thinks you could be back together. If she says 'No.' Take it at face value and find someone that deserves the love you can give.

[livelife777]

Yes, stay away from the friends with benefits! It will not end well for you I'm afraid. She will find someone else.

[talaniman]

I suggested we could be "friends with benefits" hoping she will come back to me and she agreed!

Her body came back, for now at least. But her mind and soul... no so sure. But that's what you asked for. Doubt it works like you want it to.

[mistyjane]

Again I'm going to share my experience even if I'm still struggling to maintain NC.
Stop all contact with her.
She is using you for sex after all those years like you're just another guy!What a friend!
NO NO NO!It is selfish of her what about you? Everyday after spending a beautiful night together you hope she will come to understand you belong together... but nothing happens.
Are you a toy?
What about you?If you continue you will get to the point where you disgust yourself because of you're weakness!! Don't do this to yourself.Take a break and think of what is happening.What did you do to deserve this?
Be true to yourself and move on you're a human being not her toy never forget it!

[I wish]

There's no problem wanting her back, 7 years is a huge commitment and it's not easy to throw that out the door. It may or may not work in your favor, but you're definitely setting yourself up for disappointment, so be prepared for that.

[Fr_Chuck]

So if you find she has another "friend" with benefits also, what will you feel, since this is what it is, just sex, no commitments no ties, each of you are free to still see, date and have sex with others.