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Feb 1, 2010, 02:35 AM
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Beer warnings!
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have
Accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
Immediately on all beer containers:
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
Ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite seks without spitting.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your a$$ kicked.
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 1, 2010, 01:23 PM
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All true:)
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Ultra Member
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Feb 1, 2010, 01:28 PM
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what!
its all starting to make sense now...
I call my second daughter my barcardi baby.
barcardi + pill + vomit + forgettable sex = a baby!
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Ultra Member
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Feb 1, 2010, 01:32 PM
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I miss college!!
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Feb 1, 2010, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by redhed35
what what!!
its all starting to make sense now....
i call my second daughter my barcardi baby.
barcardi + pill + vomit + forgettable sex = a baby!
You are very careless Redhead! But I just love it. :D
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Ultra Member
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Feb 1, 2010, 07:22 PM
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Originally Posted by redhed35
what what!!
its all starting to make sense now....
i call my second daughter my barcardi baby.
barcardi + pill + vomit + forgettable sex = a baby!
At least it was Bacardi and not just generic Rum:D
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Pest Control Expert
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Feb 1, 2010, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Just Dahlia
At least it was Bacardi and not just generic Rum:D
Does that make her a rumbum?
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New Member
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Feb 1, 2010, 11:10 PM
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If your life is a result of a torn condom, should you take offence if your name is "Terry"?
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Uber Member
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Feb 5, 2010, 10:41 PM
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Good one Sergie. That'll make me more consider whether to taste beer one day or never... ;)
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Feb 7, 2010, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Unknown008
Good one Sergie. That'll make me more consider whether to taste beer one day or never... ;)
There will be a day jerry! :)
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Ultra Member
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Feb 7, 2010, 06:22 PM
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Where were these warnings when I was still drinking? I could have used all of them except the bra one. I did, however, find some bras that were lost. And I did wake up beside something "scary", more than once. I would lock myself in her bathroom, and ask for breakfast. Something like bacon, or pancakes, that would slide under the door. Just kidding(barely).
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Pest Control Expert
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Feb 7, 2010, 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted by jmjoseph
Where were these warnings when I was still drinking?
I was busy proving them when you were still drinking, or at least learning how.
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Ultra Member
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Feb 12, 2010, 12:07 PM
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Complete exaggeration. I've consumed plenty of alcohol in my time. #1, #6, & #10 have never happened to me. :D
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