[ruckusluvr]

There was a post on here... I could had swore my husband was writing it! Same ages, same issue everything!! But it wasn't, because the bottom part of the post was totally not our situations (he was talking about his life with her in general.) this is the part that made my jaw drop.



The problem isn't enjoyment. We've established that she does enjoy it. She climaxes every time (no she's not faking, I know that for a fact) and really does love finishing. However...she doesn't like starting/having anything start physically.

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Okay, let me step back a little, I'm posting here cause I can do it anonymously.

I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this and I've talked to her many times but I really feel like she forgets what I said...or doesn't bother put in the effort to remember it.

I'm a 24 year old male and my fiancee is a 22 year old female. (I know, we're young). We have a great sex life...when we have sex. But that's the problem. It's getting to the point where it's once every 2 weeks. Even then I have to continually ask for it for that 2 week period...at which point she's annoyed (although won't admit it and I'm tired and sad). I've also tried the not bringing it up at all, for a few weeks...that was disastorous, I tried instead to just hint at it...that failed too. And even when we do have intercourse now...I'm honestly not even enjoying it because I can tell she's forcing herself to go through with it or she's not 100% wanting to do it (when it involves me finishing anyway...).

I read the responses in that thread and didn't feel the apply to me. They were about him doing too much for her, and she was taking advantage of him and being a dominate control freak. And that is not the case with me. I just don't want to get started... no idea why. I know sometimes during sex I am forcing myself and it is almost like I have a panic response and it is all I can do to not push him off me.

Our relationship is awesome! Other than the sex thing. I want to give him sex! I want to want it... I just don't :(

Can anyone help me?
Also, I freak out during my pap smears too. I get a panic response and it is soooo hard for me not to freak out.

I have never been sexually abused, and when I was 14-17 we had sex daily... sometimes more than once a day.

Now we are 23 and 25 married, still in love, but I am not wanting sex :(
When I finally agree to sex it is because then maybe he will stop bugging me, and I can feel better... because not giving him sex makes me feel bad because he deserves all the sex he can handle he is so great! I seem to have the "okay lets get it over with, you have 2 minutes" attitude.

No idea why! I am not depressed either. Or stressed. I have been on birth control since I was 14

[Gemini54]

Your lack of libido could be due to may things, but one thing immediately struck me.

You've been on the Pill for nearly 10 years, from when you were almost pubescent.

There is heaps of research that suggests the contraceptive pill detrimentally affects the libido in many women - particularly if taken over a long term period.

You've been taking it since you were quite young, and your hormonal system has essentially never known what it feels like not to be on the pill and to have a normal cycle.

Why don't you talk to your doctor about going off the pill? Make sure you're using another reliable form of contraception and see what happens for a few months.

The Pill has never agreed with me - the first thing it always did was destroy my libido. The times I have least felt like sex have always been when I've been taking the pill. Needless to say, I didn't take it for long!

[ruckusluvr]

I am so scared to be off birth control. I never want kids and I am in a bad situation to have them any time soon (living in old falling apart, drafty, moldy rental house)

Condoms make it burn REALLY bad when I pee, and after sex. I have tried non latex and it burned too! I wonder if it is the lube on the condoms? I can use the natural lube just fine, but I guess what is on the condoms is probably non natural.

[Gemini54]

i am so scared to be off of birth control. I never want kids and i am in a bad situation to have them any time soon (living in old falling apart, drafty, moldy rental house)

Condoms make it burn REALLY bad when i pee, and after sex. I have tried non latex and it burned too! i wonder if it is the lube on the condoms? I can use the natural lube just fine, but i guess what is on the condoms is probably non natural.

Have you thought about the IUD or the copper 7?

[LJDK]

Me = Male
I was in a similar situation.
I want sex, fiancé do not. So what we did was, we talked and came up with a plan.

She has to seduce me, and I must say no. She will kiss, rub and pose... do all sorts of stuff to get me in the mood, but no matter how horny I get I say no.

Then after a few days I just cannot say no anymore, and by then she is ready for some sensual love and longs for my body.

I hope this helps. Worked for us. I think it all comes down to the fact that women get bored easily and if they can get it they don't want it. And if they are being rejected, then they want it again.

What do you have to lose? Fake it until you make it.

[dynocompe]

Your fiancé must be something special, because past girlfriends I had, who were not in the mood to have sex, were definitely not in the mood to seduce me! Lol