[bottle]

We started dating right out of high school and have been together ever since. Shortly after I graduated in, 07 I landed a job as an Apprentice Electrician and was traveling from state to state. After a few months of long distance we decided it would be best if she traveled with me. Everything was fine then, and about a year later I was laid off and living back in my home town with my parents, and she went back to her parents. After being gone, most of my old friends had left to live there lives and honestly I would say I have only two real friends left, one being my girlfriend. However, she has a lot more friends than I do and she knows it.
So leaving her would leave me with just about no one. I love her and want to be with her, but she recently turned twenty-one and has started to blow me off and go out to clubs leaving me behind. She knows I don't like it when she goes out to places I can't get into, when it isn't her girls night. Yet she continues to do it.
I have tried to sit down and talk to her about it, but she insists I'm overreacting and I don't think she understands how much it upsets me. I don't see myself as a controlling boyfriend, considering I let her do pretty much anything that pleases her. However it seems it's not enough.
The other night we had plans to go out to a bar I can get into, since I am only twenty years old still. I was getting ready at my house and she was at her friends doing the same when I got a text saying she was going to a club I can't get into. I asked her not to and she said she was going anyway. So I was left at home, blown off by my girlfriend of three years for a club.
I am going to be twenty-one in less than a month, but she insists on going to these places until then. So I guess I am asking, should I not be so concerned about this? Is this a sign of things to come in the future? Does she not have respect for my feelings, or am I truly overreacting?

Thank you,
bottle

[rosemcs]

I'd say give it a little time until after you turn 21 soon, and then see how it goes. Maybe, there is a chance you guys can go out and have fun together. If not, well, realize that she really has not lead her single life yet and is awakening up to it, and may want her freedom. Give it a few months and then make your decision. Just don't stay with her, because you don't have other friends. Friends come and go... your electrical future sounds very promising and I hope you can get into a great job soon!

[talaniman]

You are over reacting. She has more freedom and privileges, and you handle them by being insecure. Not good since you already have so much tied up in her while she seems to have a more balanced and healthy life.

You really need to be able to stand on your own and do your own thing without her so much.

Its not her fault you don't have many friends, or things to do!