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new42 · Jan 29, 2010, 05:46 PM

I am a guy who has really been with 5 women in almost 25 years. I am now seeing a woman who is the person who has more sexual experience then me. Other than in the bedroom, our relationship is built around love, compassion and whole hearted conversation. We can resolve and compromise on everything... EXCEPT(! ) I am not really that experienced in bed and this is affecting the rest of our relationship. I want to "satisfy" her in every sexual way, but I can't seem to do it... I can't seem to last for a very long time and she is getting very frustrated with this. To the point that she does not want to engage in any sex. She is also afraid that it will eventually lead to the end of us... and I don't want that...
How does a 42 yr old guy get "more" experience?

Catsmine · Jan 29, 2010, 05:58 PM

"More" experience isn't going to help. Stop screwing her and start making love with her. Make it all about her and you'll get yours in there somewhere.

letmetellu · Jan 30, 2010, 11:43 AM

I am assuming that the act of intercourse is not your only way to try to satisfy her. There are many other things that go along with the intercourse, touching, talking, massages, mutiual masturbation, oral sex, cuddling, all of these and many more should be a part of your sex life. You doing all of these things to her will "Save" you for the finish.

Gemini54 · Jan 30, 2010, 06:13 PM

The thing is a sexual relationship doesn't ' start and end in the bedroom. As adults surely you can talk to each other? If she's feeling unsatisfied, and knows what satisfies her - why don't you talk about it and experiment?

It sounds as if your nervousness at her greater experience is also affecting you - so put it on the table - tell her about it.

It can also take time to get to know someone sexually, if you genuinely care about each other then take the time to get to know each other... patience is required. Her refusing to engage in sex is hardly helping your capacity to last longer!

The only way you can get more experience is to engage in an honest sexual relationship, not one where one person feels demeaned and the other one opts out.

jmjoseph · Jan 30, 2010, 06:27 PM

Get a copy of the book " The Sensuous Man". Books like this one and others like it, really help inexperienced lovers. I read this book(big brother's copy) when I was fifteen, and it helped me to know how to satisfy women at an early age.

Once you learn all the "special spots", you go from there. Let her know that you are willing to learn how to make her feel good. Experiment often. And most importantly, like Catsmine said, make love with her, not to her.

Synnen · Jan 31, 2010, 11:25 AM

Two questions:

Can she bring HERSELF to orgasm?

Has she tried to show/tell you how to do it? If so, have you LISTENED to her?

If she expects you to intuitively KNOW, that's just crazy. She needs to help you learn her body. At the same time--you need to listen and understand that it's not about YOU--it's about learning HER.

Ash123 · Jan 31, 2010, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

Two questions:

Can she bring HERSELF to orgasm?

Has she tried to show/tell you how to do it? If so, have you LISTENED to her?

If she expects you to intuitively KNOW, that's just crazy. She needs to help you learn her body. At the same time--you need to listen and understand that it's not about YOU--it's about learning HER.

I'd like to know these things myself... good to ask.