[peacake45]

I don't want him to sleep over I feel like that is disrespectful. She thinks it is OK because she is an adult,

[redhed35]

Your house your rules.

But for the sake of argument,is there a compromise?

Can he come and sleep in the spare room?

Have a chat when he gets there about how you would like him to respect your rules.

[thisisit]

For adults who live in their own homes, it is OK to have whoever they want sleep over. For adults who live in other adult's homes, it is only OK if the head of the household says it is OK.

[EmoPrincess]

I don't want him to sleep over i feel like that is disrespectful. she thinks it is ok because she is an adult,

What exactly is disrespectful? Him sleeping over or the breaking of rules you are assuming?

[spitvenom]

It is disrespectful to not follow the rules of a house that you do not own but live in.

[EmoPrincess]

In the question they did not specify if there was a rule broken or what exactly was disrespectful. I misread the question and assumed that it had not happened yet

[thisisit]

I think it would be disrespectful to be so casual as to spend the night in an unrelated adults home just because I'm having sex with the owners daughter.

[EmoPrincess]

My fiancé stays over my house, and I've been invited to stay at his. Then again I am very close to his family as is he to mine. Then again we are 17 and 16. We both follow the rules of each house. Not out of fear of parents but out of respect for them.

[spitvenom]

My fiance stays over my house, and I've been invited to stay at his. Then again I am very close to his family as is he to mine. Then again we are 17 and 16. We both follow the rules of each house. Not out of fear of parents but out of respect for them.

Right since his parents and your parents don't have a problem with it then it is fine. The OP has a problem with this so since she owns the house (I assume) it is disrespectful of here daughter to have a boyfriend sleep over when the mother/owner of the house does not want him to.

[EmoPrincess]

Right since his parents and your parents don;t have a problem with it then it is fine. The OP has a problem with this so since she owns the house (i assume) it is disrespectful of here daughter to have a boyfriend sleep over when the mother/owner of the house does not want him to.

ONCE AGAIN, I had thought it had not happened yet and was asking what the disrespectful part of this was so I could fully understand this question. I had originally thought that the daughter was merely asking the OP and it had not happened yet. I understand the fact that the daughter having the boyfriend stay over when the parent did not approve is disrespectful. I had not realized this event has already occurred.

[Wondergirl]

I agree with you and most of the others who have responded. It is your house and you make the rules. Her being an adult has nothing to do with it. I wouldn't even allow him to sleep in a spare bedroom because I'm guessing he won't stay in that room all night.

[HistorianChick]

Another poster agreeing with the "your house, your rules" idea.

If she doesn't like it, she should move out and do what she wants in her own place. We've all had to move out at some point and do what we want in our own homes.

At 22, she is trying to assert her independence as an adult, but that is hard to do when living at home. She needs to abide by your wishes as long as she is in your home.

[Gemini54]

Just to add to the vote - your house, your rules. Your daughter and her BF should respect that regardless of their age.

My dad wouldn't let me sleep under his roof with my BF when I was 32 (!), but offered to pay for a motel room for the night.

Go figure. But, he's Italian.

[jmjoseph]

The boyfriend should have enough respect for you, and your house rules, as to not push the issue.

Your daughter feels as though she has earned that right by way of her age. I would, in no uncertain terms let her know that if she is old enough as to have a sexual partner over for a sleepover at YOUR house, she is old enough to be a occupant of her own apartment or house. There, and only there, can she make her own rules. When she has a daughter of her own, she will realize the position she has put you in.

God bless the parents of the world.

If only there was an instruction manual for those things...

[jermaine1983]

For adults who live in their own homes, it is ok to have whoever they want sleep over. For adults who live in other adult's homes, it is only ok if the head of the household says it is ok.

Just my opinion but if she feels she's an adult then tell her to get her own place.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, her age has nothing to do with it, whose house it is, and the rules of the house. After the first no, anyone who wanted to agure about it, was not being respectful.

As my dad said and I have told my grown kids, if you don't like my rules you know where the door is.

[ohsohappy]

If she's wanting him to stay the night in your house, then it's your rules. If you're just not wanting her boyfriend to stay the night with her and she does live on her own I'd say there's no problem. But then again I don't think you'd be asking if she didn't live at home. Tell them to stay at his place if his parents don't have a problem with it or if he lives at home. Or she should just get her own place.

[IamMeyouAreyou]

It your house madam, so long as she is in your house, she lives under your rules.

[QLP]

I agree with all the above that it is your house so your rules.

However I'm not sure if you are asking because you aren't sure how you should feel about it since if you are sure you don't want this then it's only a matter of making it clear to your daughter.

I have always allowed my adult son and daughter to have their partners stay over. I know they are going to have sex anyway so I prefer to know they are safe and well under my roof. My adult son has left home and got his own place now anyway. Also, when they were first sexually active I felt handling it this way made them more open to asking advice. I have always made sure comdoms are freely available in the bathroom no questions asked. I have a great relationship with them both and they both feel comforable asking my advice on anything. They are not promiscuous because of this. My daughter has only had one partner who she has been with now for four years. My son has had three partners and does not go in for casual sex.

I'm not saying you shoud take this stance just sharing that if you want to consider it do so. If you want to make it clear that this is not what happens in your house then do that.

No right or wrong answer as long as it is handled responsibly and with love. Do what is right for you.

[neverme]

Just an I agree... 'Your house, you rules'.