[dragon5bui]

I have trouble asking girls for there number and asking them out and I have read up on a lot of things and I was thinking maybe it has something to do about my mother issues or confidence? But how would I resolve this problem.

[JBeaucaire]

You don't build your dating confidence by working on your mother issues.

Don't get me wrong, you may need to resolve the demons between you and your mother. But let's get realistic. Blaming your lack of improvement in courting skills on one other failed relationship is simply not helpful. It's crippling.

Don't do that.

Ultimately, there is no substitute for experience. Asking girls out takes practice. You will fumble over it, you will make more out of it in your head than it needs to be, you feel embarrassed for no reason... all of that and more... all because it's a "new process" for you.

But once you've tried 20 times (win or lose), you'll start to get a feel for what works for you and what does not.

Not getting a "yes" when asking out a girl isn't a failure. It's notch in the learning curve. Make sure you're learning the right things. You can actually survive being told "no" just fine. No blood loss, no permanent scars.

You just pay attention to the whole interaction and see if you spotted anything positive in that scene. If not, try other things completely. If yes, include those elements in your next attempt and sprinkle in some new things.

It's not magic. We all have to learn how to interact with others in a variety of situations, asking out girls is just one of them.

The "confidence" people so often point to as helpful, that confidence comes from you being completely secure in your own skin. Completely OK just meeting and talking to people and even asking girls out. Completely "OK" when turned down, not as if you don't care, not that, but as if your self-worth isn't affected by the answers you're given. You're still you, still OK, still moving through the evening having a fun time and being fun to be around.

Confidence really is nothing more than not being scared of what happens, whatever that is. You just face it all with a good spirit.

People notice that in others.

[crazychick56]

JB's right, mother issues and lack of confidence, two totally different things. Now, when you say you have trouble doing these things, does that mean you're shy around girls. If so, I guess that's okay, if you're only looking for friends. I mean, it's kind of cute when a guy is shy, but a girl doesn't want a guy that will be too shy to talk to them or anything. So, best way to get the confidence to do it is build good friendships first. It's not like the girls (or the nice ones anyway) are going to turn you down a friendship, so there's nothing to be afraid of. Build trust, friendship, and care. And just when you are close enough to them, you build enough confidence to feel that (good) ping in your gut to go for it. Don't be shy; move on forward and don't look back(:

[dragon5bui]

Thanks, I haven't checked up on this in a while. I just searched myself up on Yahoo. I still have the trouble of asking. I think I was reading dating for dummies and it said resolve your mother issues or something like that? Girls actually try to talk to me but I guess I am afraid of the rejection.

[dragon5bui]

Thanks, I haven't checked up on this in a while. I just searched myself up on Yahoo. I still have the trouble of asking. I think I was reading dating for dummies and it said resolve your mother issues or something like that? Girls actually try to talk to me but I guess I am afraid of the rejection.