[mandacook88]

I have a 5 year son who will be 6 in may. Im a little confused on how to handle the situation with he father. His dad is constantly in and out of prison, on drugs, doesn't see my son, has a criminal record longer than most and has came out and told me personaly that our son is not important to him. I have tried countless times to have him see our son but he also backs out or disapears. My baby needs a male role model and his father but I'm not sure if the inconsistancy is healthy for him. He hasn't seen his dad in over a year and when he did I paid him $50 to come visit then he ended up getting physical with me on the way back to his house, punching mwe and the car and grabbing the steering wheel and almost made me hit a stop sign with my son in the car.

My child ask about his daddy and ask why he doesn't love him... I don't believe in bashing so I tell him that his daddy is busy and he does love him bunches. But then my child comes back by saying well if he loved me why don't he see me. He then goes to ask me why I can't go to Walmart and buy him a new daddy that will love him and play.

I guess my question is... can I get his rights taken away if I were to get remarried due to his record, non child support, last of visiting, and drugs?
Is it fair of me to do so?. I mean my child will always know who is biological father is but I feel he deserves a daddy that shows him love and attention. I won't stop His Bio father from being in his life and I never have because I know people can change but as of this moment and the past 6 years he hasn't changed and showed any signs of caring.

Or should I keep telling my son his daddy is busy but loves him bunches and we can't go to walmart and can't call my boyfriend daddy.

[cdad]

Unless and until your married then there is nothing illegal about calling your boyfriend daddy but I don't think it's the right thing to do. At 6 they don't understand the scope of what's really going on in the world around them. When you get married and stay married for about 1 years time. So long as your new husband is willing then move for adoption.

As far as stripping his right at this time you may be able to considering his history. Is there any kind of court ordered visitation at this time ? If there is it should be supervised only at this point. Also keep the child support going. It might aid as a tool when you go for adoption as you can wave it as part of the big picture.

[mandacook88]

Child support is still in order and as far as visitation He can see my son whenever he wants aslong as he calls 24hrs ahead of time and he can't take him alone or over night. But as I was saying its always me calling him trying to have him see my son but he doesn't. I had to PAY him $50 to come last time which was over a year ago. And with child support was ordered to pay 166/month 3 years ago and he paid one time and quit his job because it was too much. I am a young mother and had no business having a child at the age I did (16) but I have learned from it and I am trying to be the best mother and father I can be and it would be nice to have alil help. It'd be nice for my baby to have a daddy that actually cared and it makes me sooo angry, he deserves better than what he is getting right now.

Im not married now but my boyfriend said if we ever got married he would be more than willing as long as it is what my son wanted.

Im just worried that its wrong of me to do so because maybe one day he will change. But then I look at the fact my son can't wait around to have a man in his life and have a real daddy for when his bio father decides to step up.

Thank you so much for your advice... I appreciate it.