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Why do I want to die?
I am twelve and I want to die. In my life so far six animals died out of eight and I blame myself for them dying. I see a therapist every week but it does not help. I have no friends at school because I act and dress differently than them. I also love to read and that's another reason they hate me.My parents drive me insane because they force me to do things I really don't want to do. And I don't know what to do because I can not tell my parents I want to die because they won't believe me and I am too scared to tell my therapist.
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Sounds like you're more than a little depressed. Are you having suicidal thoughts or is this something different? You are only 12 and you have your entire life ahead of you- it's actually very normal at your age to feel different, and to feel a sort of hatred for your parents. If your depressed it's very normal to feel sad and lonely. You could probably benefit from letting your therapist know that you are feeling depressed. They could put you on medicines or help you with sadness. Why don't you give yourself a chance? Be patient, and let your life play out. Do things for yourself and dream big for your future. |
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When I was your age I had already been to a few psychiatrists/therapists,I was more than reluctant to open up to them too,much to my regret. I am now 43,after the 10+ suicide attempts,the 10 years of marriage and 2 children(who are now 22 and 20)and many hospital visits(too many to count),I wish I would have stated my moods and feelings much sooner. By opening up to a professional we become more aware of what we are,why we feel the way we do,what drives us to the self hatred we feel. Suicide seems like a good solution,to someone who thinks they know what's best for themselves.I thought that, I was wrong. It's totally up to you how you are going to deal with this,stay in the confusion you are in and continue the road as I did or stop the chaos and open up,learn how to cope with these feelings and move forward in life.Right now your not progressing,you are at a stand still,waiting for something to happen, it just doesn't happen that way, you must put forth effort. Answer back if you ever need more chatting. |
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