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momofbryn · Jan 23, 2010, 08:08 AM

Thanks for reading my post!

Long story short, after many years of battling with his ex, my husband voluntarily terminated his rights to his 11 year old daughter. He felt it was in her best interest as his daughter was suffering from PAS via her mom and the judge would not address it. In addition, mom said her husband at the time was going to adopt. After my husband signed the papers, mom divorced the husband - the marriage had been a means to an end (her words). This took place just under two years ago.

My husband has always wanted a relationship with his daughter and was deeply saddened by the whole situation. Being that the adoption never happened, does he have any recourse? Thanks again!

JudyKayTee · Jan 23, 2010, 08:10 AM

I would consult an Attorney - what is the wording on the document he signed terminating his rights?

momofbryn · Jan 23, 2010, 08:15 AM

Section 7 of the petition says that he understands his rights will be forever terminated, however section 9 says the proposed adoptive parents are wiling and able to take custody with the intent to adopt.

At the bottom, the court is asked to enter a decree permitting termination forever to rights and duties to the child, directing transfer of custody to proposed adoptive parents, and authorizing adoption.

J_9 · Jan 23, 2010, 08:18 AM

I may be wrong, but it is possible that this could be overturned if the adoption never took place. That is if the termination took place ONLY if the adoption took place. Since the adoption never happened, it is possible that he never lost his rights in the first place.

JudyKayTee · Jan 23, 2010, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

I may be wrong, but it is possible that this could be overturned if the adoption never took place. That is if the termination took place ONLY if the adoption took place. Since the adoption never happened, it is possible that he never lost his rights in the first place.

Agree - sounds like termination might be contingent on the adoption. An Attorney should be able to tell OR, depending on the Court, OP might be able to go to Family Court (or the Court that handles these matters) and ask.

Take that back - not the OP, her husband.

cdad · Jan 23, 2010, 05:16 PM

Originally Posted by momofbryn

Thanks for reading my post!

Long story short, after many years of battling with his ex, my husband voluntarily terminated his rights to his 11 year old daughter. He felt it was in her best interest as his daughter was suffering from PAS via her mom and the judge would not address it. In addition, mom said her husband at the time was going to adopt. After my husband signed the papers, mom divorced the husband - the marriage had been a means to an end (her words). This took place just under two years ago.

My husband has always wanted a relationship with his daughter and was deeply saddened by the whole situation. Being that the adoption never happened, does he have any recourse? Thanks again!

Where did he get the idea that his daughter was suffering from PAS?

momofbryn · Jan 23, 2010, 06:16 PM

It was painfully obvious. Mom never tried to hide the fact that she hates my husband. Screamed at him on the phone with daughter in the house (he would speak with his daughter before and after, which is how we know she was able to hear), loudly argued about the situation at scheduled exchanges, gave daughter appealing alternatives to stay home instead of coming for scheduled visits, continually defied court order, cried to her daughter over the phone when she was with us about how much she missed daughter and wanted her to come home, telling daughter to refer to dad by first name... the list goes on. His daughter started repeating her mom's words verbatim ("You're a this-that-the other thing... I don't have to do anything you tell me to..." etc), would participate happily in activities in our home until she'd talk to her mom (whose directives we could hear because she's a loud talker and the volume was up on the cell phone) and then she'd start misbehaving and being rude.

Mom has a documented history of mental illness including bipolar disorder and has been unmedicated for years. I believe she was acting in what she believed to be the best interest of her daughter, but she was and still is so caught up in being upset that my husband chose not to be with her anymore that it seriously clouds her judgment (She told us this, as well. If nothing else, she was always honest to a fault with us about her behaviors). I could give numerous details - I have pages and pages of notes and phone logs that we made for the judge. At any rate, my husband asked for his daughter to attend counseling and mom said she was. Mom then told us via email that daughter did NOT attend counseling and had no intention of making her go... that we were the problem and if we would leave them alone, daughter would be fine. Had he been able to get her into counseling, any licensed therapist would have been able to verify the situation. I have a degree in Psychology and have worked with troubled children myself, as well.

Sorry for the long winded response! We're not sure how to address this situation if/when he goes back to court, but he does believe it needs to be addressed up front with the judge.

cdad · Jan 23, 2010, 07:50 PM

That's OK but I see where most of the problems are. Lets me guess he didn't have a lawyer either ? There was no PAS. And the judge was right to ignore it. When PAS is suspected then you have to follow through with proof. And I don't mean the kind you just document and then throw accusations out with. With the mothers severe problems and the fact that the PAS went undocumented by a professional then you had no case. This time around get a lawyer and fight the case correctly. From the sounds of it I would believe he could have had full custody by now instead of the mess he is in.