[Lelouche]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 months. Over the 4 months we became very close friends. She was able to open up to me more than she has opened up to many of her oldest friends. The breakup was mutual and good. There was no shouting or arguing. It just isn't working out right now.

During the last month or so she treated me pretty poorly. She didn't really talk to me much and shut the world out. I think she was going through some personal issues that she felt she couldn't talk to anyone about, but it still hurt nonetheless. I am trying not to hold a grudge about it.

Since the breakup, I have been distancing myself as best I can, but we both attend the same University and are in 3 classes together. I have been practicing the no contact rule, but it is very difficult when we have mutual friends and the internet. I talk to my friends online, and my ex-girlfriend will message me, most of the time with no real purpose. She asks some off the wall questions... things she normally wouldn't ask. If you need any examples I can post them later.

What do I do if I am trying to distance myself from her, but see her on a regular basis? I don't want to come off as a jerk that doesn't care about her anymore because I honestly do. I was thinking about leaving a letter in her mailbox telling her that I need time away from her right now.

What do you think? Again, I can give more details... I just don't know where to start. Should I ignore the messages she sends me via Skype? I don't want her to hate me, I just want to help myself move on and give her the chance to figure out what she wants.

[amicon]

A letter saying you are going NC for the length of time you need seems like a good idea.

In addition,block her on all social networking sites-that's not being rude,that's you looking after you.
As for the classes you share-be polite but busy.

[sully123]

It's going to be hard when your still in the same classes. You have a right to your own life now, and don't owe her anything. This is about you, not her, now. I would be cordial, and that is it, a passing hello. The rest, I would distance myself.

[Lelouche]

I told her I would like space... so hopefully things work out for the best. Althoughhhh I did see her briefly in the library today and didn't say anything to her. I just don't really know how to act with her around because she has been pushing me away by littering me with messages so much. It almost just happened naturally that I just made an "get me out of here" face when I saw her and booked it out of there. Help?

[kctiger]

I am not an advocate of writing letters or doing something other than just talking face to face with her letting her know where things stand, otherwise it can be easily misconstrued. In my opinion a quick and short talk with her (cordial of course) explaining your situation and the reality of things to her would be your best bet. Clearly you aren't going to be able to avoid her at all times so it is key you keep your composure when you do see her, regardless of how you feel inside. She needs to understand that this is a break up and needs to treat it as such.

Good luck!

[Ithappenstoall]

Tell her that is you still have feeling and that you need time for yourself to get better. You think she is a great person and hope tat you guys will be good friends in the near future but for the time being take your space