[lil moma]

My husband has 2 daughter 13 and 6 .I have one 16 all three girls live with us.my husband lets his girls get away with everything.his 13 year old be on myspace putting luring pictures of herself and when I address the issue he gets upset.the six year old always have tantrums when she can't get her way.they re morthers live around the corner from us.and they pop up at my house all the time. This bothers me cause we stay into it about the kids or his exs .my daughter is a well rounded young lady she wonders why they can do what they want but she cant.im an firm beliver that kids should stay in there place. I don't know how much more can I take help me please

[Jake2008]

One positive thing is that you are on speaking terms with your husband's ex.

There are some serious issues going on here with the 13 year old putting luring pictures of herself online. I cannot understand her father not jumping all over that one. Six year olds shouldn't be having temper tantrums when they don't get their own way, and I presume he gives into her, which is why they continue.

See if you can't do this. Get your daughter to babysit one night, and you and your husband and his ex go to a coffee shop or library, anywhere out of the house and away from the kids.

Take screen shots of the pictures of the 13 year old, and let them know how difficult it is to deal with the six year old, and how their behaviour is upsetting the household because it is never addressed.

Ask them to assist you in finding a way that the three of you can all be on the same page as to discipline and consequence. Tell them that you need to know that the adults are going to be adults, and parent their children! (I'm being sarcastic here).

You may also want to enlist the help of a Social Worker to mediate, through counselling, effective ways to deal with discipline.

You may find that they just don't know what to do, or how to go about disciplining. I think that's probably what it is, because of the way the kids are.

I'm particularly concerned about the 13 year old, and the culpability of the father knowing what she is doing, and doing nothing to stop it. That, at least to me, implies culpability should she get into some serious trouble with stalkers, or end up talking to adults who claim to be teenagers, because of those pictures. It is very dangerous to allow that behaviour to continue.

While I appreciate the fact that their father should be the 'pin' here, and should be disciplining his children, the fact is, he isn't.

See if you can't start the process of getting him, his ex, and you on the same page to start addressing these issues.

[redhed35]

Jake has mage excellent suggestions,I just wanted to add,having 'family meetings' here everyone can air there grieveness WITHOUT interupation,and then a compromise is reached.

Your husband and you need to be clear about the rules of your house,and both on the same page.