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Snuggles · Nov 17, 2006, 08:39 AM

Am I the only one know, that it is hard to raise someone else's child or children, and it's a headache!!

Krs · Nov 17, 2006, 08:49 AM

And your question is?

Snuggles · Nov 17, 2006, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by Krs

And your question is?

I'm married and have two step kids, and their teenagers, and I have no kids, I;m having a hard adjusting to someone's kids, yes I knew that when I married the kids came with the package deal but it was only one staying with us, now the son has moved in and he's sorry. He's came in and changed my house around

Krs · Nov 17, 2006, 08:58 AM

Don't allow it. If the house is yours and your husbands than you set the rules.

Snuggles · Nov 17, 2006, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by Krs

Dont allow it. If the house is yours and your husbands than you set the rules.

Yeah ! Right, my husband comes in the house and just tell him he not going to have it, and his son do what ever he wants the next day and my husband won't say nothing, I can yell at the top of my lungs, still don't do no good, if my husband won't inforce it, he's the man and he won't step up, if it was up to me, I'd put his sorry as-- son out of my house, but I don't want to do that because I don't want conflict between me and my husband, but his son is sorry and he knows this

Krs · Nov 20, 2006, 01:58 AM

Try come to some compromise with your husband.
He should understand if he is mature enough and puts YOU first.

isabelle · Nov 21, 2006, 07:20 AM

It sounds as if the conflict has been going on. There are no easy answers and I know that you are in a hard place. I can tell you that maybe things will change but I don't know that and to change anything takes a lot of hard work.
You didn't say how long you have been married or how long both kids have lived with you.
I would think that stepping into the parents role with teen agers would be very hard indeed. Have you tried being their friend? I know that kids like to play one parent against another and it sounds like this is happening.
What is the mothers role in all this?
Have you tried not yelling but having a talk with you husband calmly and telling him how hard this is on you. I am sure it is hard on the kids to as they sound as if they are "acting out"
It may be a good idea for all of you to see a counselor.
You sound so stressed out right now that you can't see any answer but maybe someone that is standing "outside" re' counselor could be a great help to all of you.
Good luck you have a lot of hard work to do.

cherri1966 · Nov 21, 2006, 06:14 PM

Not only is your step child the problem, so is your husband. You two have to be on one accord Step kids or biological kids. If your husband is having a problem with the discipline (for whatever reason) then you put your foot down. Someone have to be the parent. If your husband is not saying anything then he's causing the conflicts. You are not dealing with it by not addressing it. If you want to live in your home in peace, then you must make it happen. You have to do what is best and allowing a child to disrupt your home isn't the answer. You are truly messing up by allowing a child to cause problems in your home. To answer your question, no, it's not difficult to raise someone else's child. The difficulty exist when you have no control. If you allow the child to run things he or she will regardless of their age. Let a child know who is parent/adult and I guarantee you, he or she will know how far to go. You have to be consistent, you can't say something and not follow through.

dunno · Dec 1, 2006, 08:29 AM

There is a discussion board called SMOMS. It's a place for Step Moms to vent and talk to other step moms. It's a great place to go for support and to talk to women who are feeling the same way you are. Give it a shot! It's very theraputic! It's at:
www.smoms.org

Good luck!