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jacksoul · Jan 9, 2010, 02:57 PM

My mom is 40 years old, and we live in india,, she meets these irani guys at night, goes for party and all,, my dad is bedridden as he had a sever accident, he acuatlly got paralysed,, my mom has no affection towards me and dad and she mostly hangs around with these irani guys, she met these guys in the gym wich she used to go.. and then developed frndship and all..

Fr_Chuck · Jan 9, 2010, 02:58 PM

So morally it is wrong really nothing you can do

Gemini54 · Jan 9, 2010, 05:04 PM

Well, can you talk to her and tell her that her behavior distresses you? She is a grown woman however, and clearly she can do what she wants.

If your father is bedridden then she's not getting love, affection and sex from him so she is responding to a difficult situation in the only way she knows.

What I hear though is that you feel like you're not getting attention from her - is there some way that you can do things together to rebuild your relationship? Perhaps if pay her some attention and do some things together - even if it's just watching TV together, you can start developing a closer relationship.

Jake2008 · Jan 9, 2010, 09:41 PM

It sounds like she lives a parallel life that is the opposite of what everyone is expecting of her.

Maybe it is because of the demands on her, that she needs to escape for a while.

If she is meeting up with these men, unless she has told you herself, you don't have any idea what she's doing.

I don't know what the prognosis is for your father, but if he will remain paralyzed for the rest of his life, this is really a life changing event for all concerned. Maybe your mother is overwhelmed and just not knowing how to cope, or maybe this is her way of coping.

I agree with Gemini that you should sit with her and have a good talk about how you are feeling. She may simply not realize how affected you are.

Give her a chance to talk, and do your best to listen and not judge until you are certain you know the facts. And even at that, I hope you will regain some closeness from your mom, because it sounds like a rough road ahead for all of you.

jaime90 · Jan 10, 2010, 01:14 PM

Talk about it with your mom. You can't change her. Only she can change herself.