[thats life]

OK this is the situation that I currently face and I just want some honest feedback on how to handle the issue.I just got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship with my ex who is also the mother of my 16 month old child.we where on and off for the majority of 2009 the relationship hit rock bottom when I suspected that she was cheating.I caught her emailing half naked pictures to guys via internet not once but on 2 separate occasions.I tried to sweep the 1st incident under the rug but the second time I felt like enough was enough!

I take my fair share of responsibility for the relationships demise,I was very un-supportive emotionally as far as her career goals and what she wanted to accomplish in life.I got comfortable with her and the affection slowly started to fizzle out on my end.those where my short comings and I accept and acknowledge them!

My interest isn't getting her back at this point I couldn't care less,my focus is squarely on myself and getting my life on the right path

Now here comes the cold water sort of speak.one month after we split she started dating a new guy who lived about 2 1/2 hours outside of town.well its been about 5 months now and she's strongly thinking of moving in with him.in all honesty I don't think that's fair to me or my daughter I'm now attending school full time and I work full time.theres simply not enough hours in a day for me to see her and spend substantial time with her with that kind of distance separating us, along with everything else on my plate right now.my ex nor myself has any family any where near the place there moving its literally going to be my daughter with my ex along with this new guy and that bothers me.he will be spending more time with my little girl than I will and at this young of an age I can easily see her calling him daddy pretty soon.im not going to lie, that drives me nutts to say the least! I'm kind of torn because I want my ex to leave lol but my daughter is another story all together.I simply don't have the time to fight for her in anyway as I really don't have the resources or the time to care for her properly on my own.but I def want to be apart of her life and it would kill me if she looked to the new guy as more of a father to her than I am.

Is this just a no win situation for me? Is this something that I just have to come to terms with and accept? Is doing the best I can for my daughter while seeing her a few times a month all I have to look forward to? Any suggestions would help greatly I'm open to all opinions!

[Romefalls19]

You take the case to the courts, get visitation arrangements to make sure that there is quality time spent between you and your daughter. It will be hard to prevent her from moving in with him as you would have to prove it is not in the well being of the child. All you can do is try to get the visitation schedule and make the most of the time you do have.

[artlady]

Since she is making the move ,I think she needs to bend a little to make your daughter more accessible to you.

Perhaps she could drive halfway and you meet her and take your daughter every week-end,or you could switch week-ends and one week end you drive the two hours and the next she drives the two hours.

There is always joint custody where she is with you one week and Mom the next.You alternate the driving.

You really do need to get a formal custody agreement because if she is the custodial parent she inevitably has more of a say than you do.

Make time for that.

Many family courts have free mediation services to help you work out a schedule that works for everyone,if you find that you are at an impasse.

I wish you the best.

Please tell your GF that you do not want your daughter calling anyone else Daddy.

[Devorameira]

Have you ever been to court and obtained joint custody or visitation or anything? If you haven't already done that you probably won't be able to stop the move.

It's usually the state where the child currently resides that decides if the move can be made. States vary widely when it comes to rules about relocation. Some states allow parents with physical custody to relocate with the child no matter how much distance is involved. Others favor the rights of the non-custodial parent to maintain an ongoing relationship with his or her child, and are reluctant to allow such moves. Some courts require the moving parent to have a job, secure a home and select the child's school before moving.

Try talking to your ex. Explain your financial situation and how it will affect your ability to see your child. If she insists on the move, you have to see an attorney because court intervention may be the only thing that can help. At this point, it may be worthwhile to consult a family law attorney to learn about the law in your state. Good luck!

[thats life]

This is exactly what I didn't want.. going to court is a huge distraction in my life if I chose to go that route at this point.. the way that I see it is if I don't make something of myself right now than I will never be able to make a way for my daughter!literally I'm working and going to school full time I can't be there to watch a 16 month old baby while I have this much on my plate its physically impossible.. im in school now to be an emt and its time consuming I have clinicals and ride times that I must complete in order to pass the course were talking 12 hour shifts and I can't do them on school days it just leaves me very limited when it comes to time.. with my daughter moving 2 hours away I'll be spending more time traveling to see her as opposed to spending time with her I guess there's just not much I can do at this point