[CollegeMom]

My son told me today he wants to move in with his dad. He is 13, makes good grades, etc. here. His dad is NOT a good influence. He has 2 more children, 3 and 1. Their home is always dirty, my son babysits off and on, and his dad is an ex felon who does drugs and drinks. I am NOT letting this happen. However, my son is saying, "I hate you" and other hurtful things. When I ask him why he wants to move, he says due to the drama in our home. When you ask him what that means he says, "You sing along with the radio, and I hate seeing you have fun. Plus I dont like the way you talk to me". I go to college full time, and work 4 days a week. I am graduating in July, which will give me a lot more time with him. When I am home, I try and do things with him to spend time with him, but he says everything I plan "sucks". I ask what he wants to do... he says, "nothing". I don't know what to do anymore. How can I get him to stop yelling and screaming that he wants to move in with his dad, and change his attitude? I have even offered to move to the same town as his dad in July so he can see his new brother and sister more (he sees them almost every weekend now), and he said no. Any suggestions? I am tired of the fight, and tored of crying.

[ScottGem]

Normally I would move this to the Family Law forum, but your questions is more about how to deal with your son so I'm leaving it here.

Let me get the legal issues out of the way first. To have a change of custody, your ex would have to file for one. He would then need to prove that you were unfit as a parent. At 14 your son's wishes would be listened to, but given what you say about him, its unlikely he would win.

But you have bigger problems, for some reason your son feels alienated against you. You need to find out what the real root of the problem is. But I don't think you can do it alone. I would strongly suggest you consult with a family or child therapist for help.