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    patriots10169's Avatar
    patriots10169 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 7, 2010, 02:30 PM
    Stop being so dependent
    Hey everyone thanks for reading this. I am hoping I might get some good advice out of this since I don't really know where to turn to. I hope you don't mind the long post. Anyhow, my biggest issue in my life has been that I have always been so dependent on women to make me happy. Whenever I have been in a relationship, at first the relationship is great because its new and exciting but then when things calm down a bit and my girl would want space or whatever, I get frustrated because outside of my relationship, my life has sucked. The frustration starts to show and then my relationship usually ends since I have never been a very patient person or independent. This has basically been going on since I have started to date girls back when I was 14. I am 29 now. This dependency is almost like an addiction that has been very hard to break. And when I don't have a girlfriend, I would look online for hours a day searching for someone that I can get to know instead of doing productive things to better myself. Ok... so now since you know a little bit about my past, here is my dilemma. Right now many people would say my life is great because I just recently got a new job that will help my career and keep me busy, I just got back together with my girlfriend and I have a wonderful family. My problem is I don't have much of a social life because I have been so dependent on women in the past. I can never get motivated to do anything because all I want to do is be with my girl. I truly love her and don't want to scare her away on my dependency so I do my best to hide it and try to fix this issue while going out with her because I do care a lot about her and love her very much. Its not her fault that I don't have much going on besides her and my family. I guess this is more of a rant than anything but I guess I would just post this to see if anyone else knows what I am going through and if so, any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry if my post was long, I just wanted to try to describe everything as best I could. Thank you for your time.
    ImmortalKiss's Avatar
    ImmortalKiss Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Jan 7, 2010, 10:16 PM

    I have very similar habits. Any time I'm in a relationship with someone I stay with them like glue, and sometimes, I'm unsure if you feel the same way, but I always feel guilty placing my own problems on people I care about so much... What I've been doing to try and pry myself away from my dependency habits is trying to keep my mind preoccupied by something else, once you've found something that can keep you content then it's a lot easier to start pulling yourself away and becoming more independent again...
    I understand that this is difficult, I really do, I suggest you try your absolute BEST to try and work out maybe a hobby, a daily routine, something to keep yourself occupied and thinking positively.
    Wish I could give you more useful information, but I do hope I could be of some assistance.

    And on a side note... For an example to distract myself I have singing classes and such, singing and teaching myself music keeps my mind positive and less distracted and paranoid about things... Best of luck to you :)

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