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    ruby2018's Avatar
    ruby2018 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 6, 2010, 08:03 AM
    Why is a family member so rude to me
    My older cousin and I have been close for many years, traveled together to Europe to visit family and always had family dinners together back home.
    When I was in a 7 year relationship, my girlfriend started to work for him and later on he mentioned to me " don't worry nothing would happen between your girl and I. you are my cousin " found this a bit odd for him to say this?
    Now since we have broke up because of her unfaithfulness with another man.. two years later I am with someone else.
    He has been rude to me and my new girl friend, never calls or invites me over to his house.Has never been to my house after many invites even before I met my new girl. My family in europe keeps asking if I have talked to him. I was always the one calling him..
    I have yet to receive a call for christmas or newyears from him and have just received an e-mail forwarded from cousins in Europe with no acknowledgment of any kind from him just the forwarded message that they asked be sent to me..
    I feel there is more to this, my friend has suggested not to waste anymore energy on this guy, I still visit and talk to my relatives in europr regularly... any thought on how I should approach this.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jan 6, 2010, 08:05 AM

    Have you thought about calling him and asking him? He's the only one who knows 100% why his attitude toward you has changed. I could guess your ex-girlfriend is involved in some way but that's just what I said it is - a guess.

    Ask him.
    ruby2018's Avatar
    ruby2018 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 6, 2010, 08:13 AM

    Thank you for the quick reply..
    I have approached him and asked if there was anything I have done and he has said no.
    He still had this condescending way about him and even criticized my new relationship.
    This issue with my ex is just a hunch and I don't know how to approach him on that one. You know how you get that gut feeling.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Jan 6, 2010, 08:16 AM

    I know the gut feeling. I also know when I'm pounding my head against a wall. It sounds like you've approached it head on, he has no answer or doesn't want to give an answer.

    I'd leave him alone and if asked why you don't have contact with him, reply, "I don't really know. Ask him."

    Sometimes the more you pursue the more the other person runs.
    ruby2018's Avatar
    ruby2018 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 6, 2010, 08:23 AM

    Thank you..
    I am a firm believer when it comes to family values.. I need to have a second opinion, yours is going to help me to move forward..
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Jan 6, 2010, 09:09 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ruby2018 View Post
    Thank you..
    I am a firm believer when it comes to family values..I need to have a second opinion, yours is going to help me to move forward..

    And I have to think a relationship with a good foundation (which yours apparently has) works itself out - it just takes time.

    Let us know how things work out.

    And stick around. Your life experience can very well be helpful to someone else, either in this area or another area.
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