[loveable]

What excuse should I bring to a guy that I don't want to go out with? We already got the time and everything planned! And I already did it and then told him I was sick. I want to bring an excuse for next week and then I'll tell him there is someone else so he would leave me alone. Please give me ideas!

[COOKIE MONSTER]

Tell him straight!!
Tell him that you like someone else and you don't think you should go on the date you had planned.

You shouldn't put it off telling someone the truth because they end up getting even more hurt than they would have if you had told them straight away

[I wish]

You have at least two options that would end up with the same result.

1) Give him an excuse every time and he will eventually get the hint.

2) Ignore him. Don't respond to his attempts at contacting you and he will end up getting the hint.

If it's so much trouble for you to come up with an excuse every time, then just ignore him.

[loveable]

But we already planned the place and time. I can't think of an excuse right now =/

[nikosmom]

Why not just tell him the truth??

Just say, "Look, at the time we planned this I thought it was a good idea but I really don't think I'm interested in dating you and I don't want to lead you on. If you want to still hang out as friends since we already planned it, we can but I want to be upfront about my feelings so that you don't get hurt down the road."

That's just me because I'm not into playing games with people's feelings and ignoring him or coming up with excuses seems to be more difficult than just being honest. Maybe it's just me.

[Fr_Chuck]

And at the end of the day, it is just a date, go on it, and then don't say yes to another date

[Jake2008]

I think it is mean and unnecessary to string this guy along, thinking he's mustered the courage to ask you out, only to have you cancel, and now, facing the same disappointment again.

It's just not a very nice way to treat anybody.

Keep it simple. If you don't have the courage to speak to him over the phone or face to face, send him an email, and simply say, I'm sorry 'Troy', but I won't be able to date you. End of story.

You don't need an excuse that is basically a lie; just tell the truth so that he gets a clear and straight forward message, and doesn't keep trying.

Please don't make a fool out of him.

[HistorianChick]

Don't lie to him. Excuses are lies when you set about to figure one out.

I see two choices:

1. Go on the date and tell him when he comes to pick you up that you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with him, but would like to just hang out as friends.

2. Call him and tell him that you can't go on the date because you don't want to lead him on. (that's what I'd do)

Either way, you're going to have to be honest with him and tell him that you're not interested. I've had to do it... it's not fun, but totally worth it. You feel better, he doesn't have illusions of grandeur, and you both can just relax. Never know, he may turn into a friend!

[HistorianChick]

redhed35 agrees: good post and great suggestions! ( the op never came back to check,the thread is dated aug 2008)

Actually, that was her join date! She posted this question yesterday - hopefully, she'll take some of these suggestions and not hurt the guy! :)

[redhed35]

Actually, that was her join date! She posted this question yesterday - hopefully, she'll take some of these suggestions and not hurt the guy! :)

Duh!

Thanks,feel like quite the idiot now!

[jaime90]

Tell him that you don't want to go out. You've changed your mind. If you bring up one excuse, you will have to keep bringing up excuses, which is toying with his feelings and is disrespectful to him. Tell him straight up and be honest. That's the best thing you can do, and you will have to do it sooner or later.