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Evergrey · Dec 31, 2009, 12:52 PM

Ok I dated this girl back in high school. In 06, she was my first ( not a desperate first, I just didn't care to play the game ). We dated on and off for awhile. She broke up with me and I dumbed her the next time. She asked me for another chance in dec 06. So I gave it a shot. To my surprise on jan 2 of 07 she was messing around with another dude! Her friend didn't know and a picture of it ended up on her myspace. I was Crushed,Lol. After that it got worse. She dated my friend within the week. ( the friend who told me how ugly she was when I had her ). She she rubbed it in my face. Told me how worthless I was after all the time we spent and whatnot. ( we spent a lot of time togther A lot lol ). And told me to kill myself.

Well that didn't end well. But after that I Grew up I said it. Every woman in my life let me down and dicthed me. Mom,best friend,her,etc. So I played guitar and went off to college. I dated a new girl for about a year and a half but broke it off because it wasn't working. I still was talking to My Ex ( we just seem to always make up, or fight until we laugh ). Every now and then.But in spring of 09 she came down to vist family. She moved up with her dad for the last 2 years. She seemed different and she told me how she changed.

One thing led to another and we hooked up. Dated for awhile and have been engaged for 7/8 months. She told me about her past being almost completely honest and I was shocked. I knew she was easy back then but I didn't know it was that bad. She tells me how she had to respect forherself and would jump on whoever told her she was pretty. So by the time she was 14-18 she messed around with over 20 dudes. Keeping in mind from 17-18 she only was with 8 total. She told me about how she would her ex and his friend, ed some guy at a party who she didn't know only because her friend asked her too. She told me how back in the day she messed around with my Brother when I was upstairs, couple more of my friends when she was with ME. You can imagine how I felt. But I tried to get over it.

Everyone, including her dad says she changed because he knows her past. She even got the same tattoo on her ring finger that I had and everything. But the thoughts of what she did keep coming into my head. They really come when she's away or at home. I alrdy had to get her to move on to new friends since half of them where people she messed around with and didn't give a fuk about her. ( she found ou the hard way).

I just don't know how to push it out of my head. I feel like at any moment she could cheat on me. And I would lose it if she did because I put too much into our relationship.

redhed35 · Dec 31, 2009, 12:58 PM

When I was younger I was a bit of a trollop... I grew up,got some self respect,matured and low and behold I'm not a trollop anymore...

Everyone makes mistakes,how boring would your life be if it was perfect.

The fact is,she trusted you with this information,and she has grown up,what's past is past,don't flog her over it,she's with you now and your going to get married,she's going to be your wife,she loves you... if all this is true,then you have to let it go for the sake of your relationship.

If you cant,call it a day and move on,maybe you'll meet someone who lived in a cave and never put a foot wrong.

Evergrey · Dec 31, 2009, 01:34 PM

She's pretty much open with her life to EVERYONE. And feels that are her friends need to be men who just want to hook up with her. I love going over to her house to see her guy friend run out the door and leave as soon as I arrive.

redhed35 · Dec 31, 2009, 01:39 PM

Make the boundries in the relationship clear.

Honest communication is the corner stone of any relationship,if she does not know how you feel,how will she know?

Do you trust her?

jaime90 · Jan 2, 2010, 03:11 PM

I agree with the above. Trust, communication, respect, honesty, and treating love as an action, and as a choice as oppose to a romantic feeling... These are all important things to make a relationship work.

Because you have such a past, you shouldn't expect thoughts, and suspicions to pop into your head every so often. Most people have thoughts, and feelings about past relationships that plague them their entire lives. These people also find it very difficult to get the thoughts out of their head. It's like a constanct computer pop-up. Since most people can never just forget, forgivness, is an important part, in dealing with your past.