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Clough · Dec 25, 2009, 05:17 PM

Hi, All!

Okay. I'm a pack rat! I'll admit that! I'm a collector of stuff!

Now, it's gotten to the point that I have too much stuff! Some things just simply have to go!

I love to have my parties and invite a bunch of people over. So, being prepared for those sort of events is okay with having the appropriate "stuff" for them.

However, from my being a piano tuner/technician for a number of decades as well as being a "lover" of furniture and objects that might be considered to be "artful" or "collectible" in one way or another, I've gotten to the point where I simply have to let go of some things.

Too much STUFF!

I'm resigned to getting rid of various piano parts that I have. I envisioned making shelves, furniture and tool boxes out of some of them. After 15 years for some of them being in my home, it ain't going to happen. So, that's not a problem. They're going to be gone, soon!

But, there are other things that I really need to let go of...

My main question here though is, what sort of rationale do you use in order to get rid of your stuff? It's a mental anguish that I go through in order to get rid of mine!

Thanks!

Fr_Chuck · Dec 25, 2009, 05:59 PM

Normally you merely buy larger homes (LOL)

I do the box idea, I box things away and if there is any box I don't get into or use for one year, it gets give away or sold.

Clough · Dec 26, 2009, 12:55 AM

I do the box thing too, Fr_Chuck. But, there's a mind-set that I have that really makes it hard for me to know what to get rid of.

I'm looking for rationales in addition to the length of time something hasn't been used for why I should get rid of things.

Any and all ideas are welcome!

Thanks!

miss.erin · Dec 26, 2009, 03:43 PM

Hello Clough!
I read your profile--what an interesting and full life. I imagine that many of the things that you have collected have a story behind them and some sentimental value. That's where the emotional attachment comes from... the circumstances, the people, the memories, the ideas that you had when you acquired them. It's like letting go of a part of your life or your memories. It's not uncommon to have an emotional attachment to stuff--but, it's when it hinders your quality of life that it deserves looking into... and seeing that you have posted about it--I'm guessing it has gotten out of control. How freeing and clearing it is to let go of stuff. It feels good to let go and let the space breathe! But it also means being willing to face the discomfort... since there is attachment there will be a sense of loss to get rid of some things.
Start slowly--the stuff that you can most easily let go of, whether to the trash (yikes!) or to donations--maybe local artists who will make neat art out of some of it. And see how that feels. It won't be comfortable--but neither is the current state of your house. So it's a matter of deciding which is worse... and then acting (or not acting) upon that. Does that make sense? Here a little, there a little...
you might be surprised at the momentum you could gain and the space you desire for entertaining people to make more memories with! I wish I had a step by step suggestion.
Maybe you could look into "hoarding" and see if you relate to any of that information--if so, there has to be lots of suggestions to get started. I wish you the best Clough!
Happy clearing! :)

amicon · Dec 26, 2009, 05:15 PM

I do a springclean once a year.
Mostly clothes though!

Clough · Dec 26, 2009, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by miss.erin

Hello Clough!
I read your profile--what an interesting and full life. I imagine that many of the things that you have collected have a story behind them and some sentimental value. That's where the emotional attachment comes from...the circumstances, the people, the memories, the ideas that you had when you acquired them. It's like letting go of a part of your life or your memories. It's not uncommon to have an emotional attachment to stuff--but, it's when it hinders your quality of life that it deserves looking into...and seeing that you have posted about it--I'm guessing it has gotten out of control. How freeing and clearing it is to let go of stuff. It feels good to let go and let the space breathe! But it also means being willing to face the discomfort...since there is attachment there will be a sense of loss to get rid of some things.
Start out slowly--the stuff that you can most easily let go of, whether to the trash (yikes!) or to donations--maybe local artists who will make neat art out of some of it. And see how that feels. It won't be comfortable--but neither is the current state of your house. So it's a matter of deciding which is worse...and then acting (or not acting) upon that. Does that make sense? Here a little, there a little...
you might be surprised at the momentum you could gain and the space you desire for entertaining people to make more memories with! I wish I had a step by step suggestion.
Maybe you could look into "hoarding" and see if you relate to any of that information--if so, there has to be lots of suggestions to get started. I wish you the best Clough!
Happy clearing! :)

Well, bless your heart, miss.erin! :)

Yes, nearly every piece of furniture that I have and things that I use in the kitchen have a story behind them and have much sentimental value! I generally tell people that my home is furnished by dead relatives!

For instance, I have an old T.V. and cabinet from the 1950's on which I used to watch cartoons with one of my grandfathers. The cabinet was beautiful, but no more... I had to store it on the front porch because of there being no room in my home.

I also have three grand pianos. Two in my living room and one on its' side in the garage. I know that the one in the garage can go. The other two are once-in-a-lifetime finds and are also very, very old. I'm keeping them. I also have duo-piano recitals in my home.

Then, there's the other "stuff". Tools upon tools, wood for making things, old magazines that are really neat. Old beds. Books, books and more books. Music... Records... Video tapes... Audio tapes... Paper things... etc.

I've got some great "stuff"! It's just that, if I don't do something about it, then someone else will need to take care of it someday. I don't want to leave a burden on anyone.

Like I've already mentioned, I'm resigned now to getting rid of some things...

But, I'm looking for words and other influences to make a big "purge".

How do other people do it? I know that I have a problem with this. If I were to go to a counselor about it, that wouldn't mean that that person would have any experience knowing about what I face. Plus, action is needed here! I'm now ready for the action!

It's time...

Please, anyone, help to get me "pumped up" to take action to do something about it!

Thanks!

Clough · Dec 28, 2009, 01:03 AM

I still would appreciate any input here!

All suggestions and rationales for getting rid of stuff are wecome!

Thanks!

J_9 · Dec 28, 2009, 01:08 AM

Clough, do you consider yourself a hoarder?

Alty · Dec 28, 2009, 01:18 AM

I follow the five year rule.

If I haven't used it, worked on it, touched it, seen it, or moved it in 5 years, then it's gone!

When my mom and dad died I had all the furniture and extras that they had put in a sea bin container until I could deal with it. They lived in an 1800 square foot house and it was packed to the rafters.

I dealt with some things right away, while we packed up my mom for her move (she lived with us the last few months of her life). The rest went into the bin.

Still, when we finally decided to deal with it, it was overwhelming. It's hard to get rid of things when the people attached to them are deceased. Every toothpick held a memory of some sort. Every broken cup and saucer, every bent spoon, every worn out sock. I simply couldn't get rid of it, but where to put it? I didn't have room and buying a bigger house wasn't an option.

I ended up giving a lot of the stuff to my family, Aunts and Uncles, cousins. The stuff that I was undecided on I either put in the house or packed away in boxes until I could deal with them.

The garage was packed with boxes.

After 9 years (dad's anniversary is Jan 12) I've kept the things that I simply couldn't get rid of. I have my photo albums, those are all the memories I need. I have all my dads art, that will never leave me. I have their jewelry, their love letters to each other.

Furniture, stuff, it's replaceable, really it is.

Start with one room. Pick up the item and be honest with yourself. Aside from the memories it holds, do you use it, will you use it, do you need it, can you live without it?

That's the only way to get rid of the hoard.

Clough · Dec 28, 2009, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Clough, do you consider yourself a hoarder?

I'm not sure what a hoarder is.

Thanks!

Clough · Dec 28, 2009, 02:02 AM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I follow the five year rule.

If I haven't used it, worked on it, touched it, seen it, or moved it in 5 years, then it's gone!

When my mom and dad died I had all the furniture and extras that they had put in a sea bin container until I could deal with it. They lived in an 1800 square foot house and it was packed to the rafters.

I dealt with some things right away, while we packed up my mom for her move (she lived with us the last few months of her life). The rest went into the bin.

Still, when we finally decided to deal with it, it was overwhelming. It's hard to get rid of things when the people attached to them are deceased. Every toothpick held a memory of some sort. Every broken cup and saucer, every bent spoon, every worn out sock. I simply couldn't get rid of it, but where to put it? I didn't have room and buying a bigger house wasn't an option.

I ended up giving a lot of the stuff to my family, Aunts and Uncles, cousins. The stuff that I was undecided on I either put in the house or packed away in boxes until I could deal with them.

The garage was packed with boxes.

After 9 years (dad's anniversary is Jan 12) I've kept the things that I simply couldn't get rid of. I have my photo albums, those are all the memories I need. I have all my dads art, that will never leave me. I have their jewelry, their love letters to eachother.

Furniture, stuff, it's replaceable, really it is.

Start with one room. Pick up the item and be honest with yourself. Aside from the memories it holds, do you use it, will you use it, do you need it, can you live without it?

That's the only way to get rid of the hoard.

Very sage advice Alty! Very sage advice...

When I got rid of my mom's clothes, I handed over the garbage bags that contained them to my daughter and a friend.

When they finished sorting out things, one, or more, garbage bags contained items that were to be pitched and the other ones were to go to Goodwill or the Salvation Army.

It worked, and I was fine with it.

I'm very interested in what you would consider to be a "five year rule" please? I know that you've already elaborated some about that. Some things (to me), don't appear to be negotiable

I really do need help and would appreciate all ideas,

Thanks!

Alty · Dec 28, 2009, 01:07 PM

The five year rule is simple. If you haven't used it in 5 years, then you don't need it.

I had a beautiful pie plate, it was given to me as a wedding present. It's china, hand painted, gorgeous. It looked really pretty in my cabinet, which is where it stayed for 10 years. I never used it, because I didn't want anything to happen to it.

So one day I was doing my spring cleaning, took all the stuff out of the cabinets, had this plate in my hand and thought "why do I keep it? So it can sit in a cabinet?"

I ended up re-gifting it to someone that I knew would appreciate it and use it. I'm not a china kind of girl.

You have to learn to let go. It's hard. My dad was a hoarder, the worst of the worst. I got to deal with all his stuff after he died. I understand why, it was sentimental, but all these boxes of my old school stuff, clothes, toys, all in boxes in the crawl space. What good is that? Pick a few treasured pieces, display them, then get rid of the rest.

miss.erin · Dec 28, 2009, 08:08 PM

Hi--
I bet you could find a school that could use that piano... some PTA parents could volunteer to pick it up... maybe you could offer to tune it once it's in it's new place... with kids!
I was thinking about that old TV on the porch--
What if you take a picture of it... and then take an old picture of your grandfather and one of yourself from when you were little and cut them out and paste them on the TV screen in the photo? You two could be ON the TV that you watched together! Frame it, hang it, then the real TV goes to the dump... maybe? It's obsolete by now with tubes and all--right?
The magazines... craiglist. If someone wants them you could send them COD. Also, I think that art students in High School or College would love to make collages with them. I would. :) You could call the art dept. at the local college and ask if they would be interested in them--then THEY could come get them.
Less work for you!
Just a couple things I've been thinking about.
The piano and TV could go fast and fairly easily.
The magazines seem a good next step.
What do you think?
Warm regards,
Erin

miss.erin · Jan 31, 2010, 03:21 PM

Hi Clough!
Wondering how things are going? I hope all is well with you.
Any progress? What have you been able to do so far?
Love from your little cheerleading section!
Sincerely,
Erin

Clough · Jan 31, 2010, 03:29 PM

Right now, I'm house and dog-sitting, Erin. So, I haven't been home all that much for about a week! I really do appreciate your ideas!

I still do need to make some progress with getting rid of my "stuff", though!

It's really hard to get into the right "mind-set"!

I'm also dealing with some other things, if you might want to check out some of the other, recent threads that I've started. I hope and would appreciate it if you would do that!

Thanks!

Clough · Jan 31, 2010, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

The five year rule is simple. If you haven't used it in 5 years, then you don't need it.

I had a beautiful pie plate, it was given to me as a wedding present. It's china, hand painted, gorgeous. It looked really pretty in my cabinet, which is where it stayed for 10 years. I never used it, because I didn't want anything to happen to it.

So one day I was doing my spring cleaning, took all the stuff out of the cabinets, had this plate in my hand and thought "why do I keep it? So it can sit in a cabinet?"

I ended up re-gifting it to someone that I knew would appreciate it and use it. I'm not a china kind of girl.

You have to learn to let go. It's hard. My dad was a hoarder, the worst of the worst. I got to deal with all his stuff after he died. I understand why, it was sentimental, but all these boxes of my old school stuff, clothes, toys, all in boxes in the crawl space. What good is that? Pick a few treasured pieces, display them, then get rid of the rest.

Yeah, that's definitely one of things about which I'm afraid, Alty - that someone will have to deal with my "stuff" after I die.

I've got stuff in my basement and attic that I definitely haven't used in five years.

But, what about saving things for my children?

Thanks!

KBC · Jan 31, 2010, 04:06 PM

Dad and I just spent the afternoon in the shop cleaning the barn hinges,straps,handles,rods,pulleys,plates,, etc, you get the idea.:)

3 different containers,1 for the historic society,one for the scrap yard,one for keeping.This material has been in the shop for 15 years.I have used 1/100th of them in that time.

Now,tomorrow,I'll be going to the scrap yard with 7-800 pounds of steel,the historic society will receive 400 pounds of usable hinges and hardware for restoration purposes,the shops keeps are only 300 pounds or so.

Once I started to really look through the stuff,the decisions were easier and easier.

I had a customer a few towns away who hoarded stuff, everything from letters,newspapers,magazines, etc,to walk through their hallways(with a tool belt on)was nearly impossible.A few weeks after I finished my work,they had their kids over and a VERY big dumpster.Not only the dumpster,but the sidewalk was loaded with the recyclables.It took 3 loads on a stake body truck to get rid of all the papers and stuff.

Perhaps others around you can help you to just pack certain things up and get them where they need to go.

Like moving from place to place,the letting go of the memories and feelings associated with them.

I don't know, maybe this helps.. :)

QLP · Feb 1, 2010, 05:59 AM

With things of sentimental value why not take a photo of them. Photos take up little storage space, especially if stored digitally, so if you want to have the reminders you can do so that way. Anything you're worried might be valuable cash-wise, now or in the future, get appraised and see.

Learn to appreciate the space you make. It is so much nicer to have enough space to see and use the things you do keep!

Clough · Mar 16, 2010, 01:32 AM

Well, this coming Friday is going to be the first purge of my stuff. I've scheduled a special pick-up with the city. It's free for citizens to do that once a year here.

On this coming Wednesday and Thursday evenings, I have some friends coming over to help me cart things out. It's not going to be easy for me getting rid of things, psychologically. I do know that a couple of my friends will be relentless.

I'm bracing myself and have already been lining some things up to take out to the curb!

amicon · Mar 16, 2010, 01:59 AM

Good job,Clough-stick with it!
I hope you are well.