[Random.12am]

Okay, so this happened last year but I'm still stuck.

I've been a close friend to this girl for so long... And we kind of liked one another. However, I could not ask her out since 1) she doesn't "believe in love", and 2) she doesn't date people younger than her, which I am.

But then comes along a very handsome guy, plays in a band, and sweeps off her feet. He's younger than her, yet she completely falls for him. Before that, I asked her out and got rejected. So now I'm very jealous/envious and I continuously compare myself to her boyfriend. It transgressed to obsession and dogmatism, such that I devalued everything that this guy resembles and accordingly became the complete opposite. All of that, just to feel "good enough" about myself, to convince myself that they're heedless, worthless creatures when deep inside I know they're not.

So what does that say about who I am? I know I'm stuck and that my reaction is not completely natural. But what is it in my behavior that's problematic? I really want to fix this because definitely I can trace other problems to this one. Therefore, solving this problem will serve multiple purposes at the same time.

Please let me know.

Regards,

[excon]

Why do I envy her and her current bf?
So what does that say about who I am?

Hello Random:

You envy her and her boyfriend because they're getting some and you ain't. What does that say about you? You're normal.

excon

[Random.12am]

Excon, thank you very much for taking the time to read through my problem. I genuinely appreciate it.

You say this only shows I'm normal. How come?

I mean many people who are in my shoes have already moved on, beyond such resentment. Yet I am still stuck. How come you think it's normal?