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tesyo74 · Dec 24, 2009, 03:15 PM

8 yrs. Ago I was dumped by my ex boyfriend. We broked up because of another girl who is his wife right now. He had no choice but to marry this girl that time because she was pregnant. That´s according to him. He told me that he was threatened by the girl´s family if he would not marry their daughter they would report to the licensed government office to get his licensed as an engineer. Well I believed his words and let him go. He trully broked my heart! And after one year of broke up I entered to a relationship where I don´t love this guy but parents love and like him. So I decided to accept his proposal to get married. One of my reasons I accepted his marriage proposal to me was that I wanted to forget my ex boyfriend. But I was wrong! From day one I married my husband... I always cried and longing for my ex boyfriend. I never open and share these things to my husband because he is very good to me and he loves me. In short I still have my big love fro my ex boyfriend. In my dreams he was there like he was just talking to me in person. And after 6 yrs. All my dreams did happen. My ex boyfriend wrote me first an email and said if we can email each other. I was so shocked why he wrote me. What was his purpose and intentions. I opened these things to my husband that my ex boyfriend wrote me an email and my husband said "wow he has that big guts to contact you after he betrayed you".
Well at first it was just a friendly emails and turn to Yahoo msgr. Chatting. After one year of chatting he opened up his feelings to me that his marriage was rocky and he doesn't like the way his wife treating him. It´s started there and after that he asked me if we could be lovers again. Telling me to prioritize our own respective families and not to forget our obligations. Of course I had resitations and fears if ill accept what he wanted. But because I still love him and I can deny my feelings to him so I said YES to him. We just communicating now through emails, SMS, MMS or even chatting. We exchage our love you words.
I know this is really wrong but how can you blame me? Am I too stupid of following my feelings? Im actually happy with this situation.

RadioActive697 · Dec 24, 2009, 03:40 PM

Ok? Your married and dating your ex boyfriend and you feel good about it? Shouldn't you tell your husband about this instead of just pretending to like him? *sighs* Goodluck. - Autumn

sully123 · Dec 24, 2009, 03:49 PM

So I suggest to get a divorce and tell your husband the truth. But one thing for sure, I don't think your ex-boyfriend will leave his wife. You will be his mistress of course, I guess than that will make you feel really good. In the long run, your thinking of your feelings, not your husbands and not your ex-boyfriends wife. Reverse the roles, would you want someone to do that to you, and be a homewrecker.

HistorianChick · Dec 24, 2009, 04:16 PM

You're both married. You are both not available. Until you both are divorced from your current spouse, you are not in a position to entertain relationships with each other.

What you're stepping into is an affair... don't.

I would recommend dealing with your marriage relationship rather than this other man. He dumped you. He chose someone else. So did you.

I would stop contact with this man. He is not doing anything good for you.

Devorameira · Dec 24, 2009, 05:15 PM

You are wrong in what you're doing. You are both married. You are having an emotional affair with your ex, which is just as bad (maybe worse) as having a sexual encounter. It's an emotional affair because you're keeping the details of your relationship secret from your spouse and are saying things to the ex that you wouldn't say in front of your husband.

You are lying to and betraying your husband. If you and the ex really think that you "love" each other, then do the right thing and get a divorce now before the emotional affair turns physical.

talaniman · Dec 25, 2009, 11:34 AM

If you know its wrong then why even entertain the idea?

tesyo74 · Dec 25, 2009, 05:35 PM

Thanks to everyone. Thanks for all the advices.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 25, 2009, 05:53 PM

First no we are not going to delete your posts, thank you for asking twice, This is a public post, and you were notified that it was when you joined.

The issue here is that you have a boyfriend who obviously lied to you before, and is still lying to you, ( my guess is to sleep with you)

So you have a choice to kee having an affiar and cheating on your husband his his wife.

Or you can divorce your husband, he divorce his wife and then date.

But you should both stop havng a relationship, and work on your relationship

sandalwood7 · Dec 25, 2009, 08:50 PM

My advice to you is simple, although echoed in the posts above:

Don't HAVE AN AFFAIR!

This will never do you any good, even though it may be good at the time. Why don't you try reading some of the other posts by people that have had affairs or are having affairs on this site.. You don't get happy people writing in about how great their affair is going.

All affairs do are:
-promote deceit
-erode you self-esteem, dignity and self-respect
-open both of you up to a whole world of mind games and control
-act as a cheap fantasy while you ignore all the problems in your relationship and life

Bottom line is.. AFFAIRS NEVER DID ANY GOOD FOR ANYONE AND NEVER WILL.

This sounds harsh, but you need to deal with the problems in your life and relationship . Stop looking for an 'EASY' answer (quite the contrary) in this other man. He is married and off bounds.

Cut off all contact with this other man. Your husband doesn't need to know anthying if you change this deceitful situation. Start being honest with yourself and address the problems with your marriage. You might be able to work things out with some conversation and effort.

Good luck making a wise decision.

tesyo74 · Dec 28, 2009, 02:51 AM

I know this is wrong! I will do my very best to cut all my communications with him and focus my problem with my husband. He actually was the one who pushed me to do these stuffs after the issue brought up. Just read all my other posts here. Again thanks everyone.

J_9 · Dec 28, 2009, 02:53 AM

What a tangled web we weave...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...pe-428598.html

amicon · Dec 28, 2009, 02:56 AM

Its seems the problems with your husband need serious sorting out- I hope that it works out for you.

tesyo74 · Dec 28, 2009, 04:31 AM

I know from the very start I didn´t love my husband (I admit that) but I also did my part to work the said marriage. We have been marriage for 8 yrs and blessed with one son. But just this year the problem came out and it was harsh for me to think that my friend had brought this issue that my husband attempted her to rape. I was confused and didn't know how to deal with it. So when my ex boyfriend was trying to pleased me, I knew it´s just only a lie. I grabbed it, thinking that my problem with my husband will be lessened.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2009, 06:54 AM

But what was your husbands side to all this?

amicon · Dec 28, 2009, 07:06 AM

Has this been discussed with your husband?

tesyo74 · Dec 28, 2009, 07:58 AM

Yes I confronted him and asked him all about the issue. He knew that I was so disturbed about it. He told me that it wasn´t true and that this friend of mine was jealous of our marriage and trying to destroy it. I believed all his answers to me. But still there´s a doubt in my heart why and how it happened. Why my friend shared these things to all my friends I know. I started to have doubts with my husband but he knew that I fought those rumors and tried to protect our family. But later this year I found out that he was hiding something and not only hinding but "lying" to me.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2009, 08:03 AM

Lying about what?