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ashloebs · Dec 20, 2009, 06:03 PM

So I have a really messy situation. I am part of a military family and recently my husband has returned back from Iraq, he really wants to get out and since his contract is up in March he has decided to make his lifelong dream a reality, opening up a restaurant. In my past before we met I was a wild child and racked up 3 DWI's. This was way before we met and he knew about this, while doing research for the loan and restaurant he discovered that they also do spouse background checks and that because of my record that he could not open up a restaurant unless we get a divorce. I was very hesitant and don't believe in divorce but didn't want to be the reason my husband couldn't fulfill his dream, so I filled for a divorce, he told me it wasn't a big deal that we would get remarried after the restaurant would be open. Part of this divorce thing was that I give him full custody of our 2 children so he could receive full benefits when he joined the reserves. So of course I agreed considering that he said we would get remarried. A few months after this happened he stated that we really wanted a divorce and we could try dating. Of course I was in total anger and shock considering the fact that I had signed over my entire life. He is very abusive mentally and emotionally and I have no idea what steps I can take. PLEASE HELP!!

JudyKayTee · Dec 20, 2009, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by ashloebs

So I have a really messy situation. I am part of a military family and recently my husband has returned back from Iraq, he really wants to get out and since his contract is up in March he has decided to make his lifelong dream a reality, opening up a restaurant. In my past before we met I was a wild child and racked up 3 DWI's. This was way before we met and he knew about this, while doing research for the loan and resteraunt he discovered that they also do spouse background checks and that because of my record that he could not open up a resteraunt unless we get a divorce. I was very hesitant and don't believe in divorce but didn't want to be the reason my husband couldn't fulfill his dream, so I went ahead and filled for a divorce, he told me it wasn't a big deal that we would get remarried after the resteraunt would be open. Part of this divorce thing was that I give him full custody of our 2 children so he could receive full benefits when he joined the reserves. So of course I agreed considering that he said we would get remarried. A few months after this happened he stated that we really wanted a divorce and we could try dating. Of course I was in total anger and shock considering the fact that I had signed over my entire life. He is very abusive mentally and emotionally and I have no idea what steps I can take. PLEASE HELP!!!!

What is your question? You filed for divorce from an abusive man, you either are or will be divorced. He is abusive in every way so you don't want to reconcile with him.

If he is a danger to the children, then you have to go back to Court and request that they be returned to you - and present proof. If there is no Court Order giving him custody, then go to Court and request custody.

Is that your question?

twinkiedooter · Dec 20, 2009, 08:30 PM

Lest me guess. You didn't have an attorney? And now you want us to tell you how to undo your mess. You need to get yourself an attorney NOW before the divorce is final. I have no idea what sort of a financial institution would do a background check and deny a loan due to some ages old DUI's on the part of a spouse. I think he was telling you some fairy stories and you bought it, hook, line and sinker. Time to get your head on straight and hire an attorney regardless of the cost as he's about to railroad you big time.

JudyKayTee · Dec 21, 2009, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Lest me guess. You didn't have an attorney? And now you want us to tell you how to undo your mess. You need to get yourself an attorney NOW before the divorce is final. I have no idea what sort of a financial institution would do a background check and deny a loan due to some ages old DUI's on the part of a spouse. I think he was telling you some fairy stories and you bought it, hook, line and sinker. Time to get your head on straight and hire an attorney regardless of the cost as he's about to railroad you big time.

And it would appear to me that while assisting her husband in defrauding "someone" (by getting a divorce with some sort of side pocket arrangement) in order to open a restaurant she managed to get defauded herself.

What goes around comes around.