[carrot0320]

For the past one year now, my mind has been in a complete frozen mode. I have problems as :

1. Bad memory:
- can't remember people's names, telephone numbers

2. Absent mindedness :
- High forgetfulness
-Misplacing things every minute.

3. Inability to concentrate when people talk to me
4. Talk too much non-stop and impulsively(blah-blah types)
5. Feel empty brain (this is my major problem) : unable to get into a sensible discussion and contribute to the discussion.
6. Very low self-confidence
7. Lack of energy all the time.
8. Feel like running away from problems.
9. Fear to talk to people. Scared that I would talk rubbish and people would turn me down.
10. Fear that I would put my loved ones and family down.
11. Willingness to be between a room and not to step out.
12. Laziness and low self confidence.
13. Feels like walking on egg shells all the time.
14. Fear-fear-fear.
15. Lack of self thought- I obey people and I have noticed that I have been doing what people (my family members) ask me to do. Not what I actually want. Thankfully there has been no misguidence from them.
16. Always wanting to please people.
17. I feel I do things with animal insticts- Eat, sleep, sex. Less discipline.
18. Butter fingers: keep dropping and breaking things by mistake and have too much guilty feeling
19. Severe feeling of guilt on small mistakes.
20. Feels like "I am an idiot, I know nothing" all the time.

I am married for two months now and I am so worried about my image on my in-laws and husband. Although they are quite nice and approachable.

I am always so worried and my major problem is I feel empty brain. There is nothing in there and I can't do a informative or sensible discussion with anyone.

My background: I hold a post graduation in commerce. I have been working for 5 years now for world's top 3 fortune 500 companies.(just quit job as a career break for 2 months now after marriage).

I was not like this. Past one year has been severely bad mentally. I have problems to balance my mind.
Need help :-(

[jaime90]

Most of the problems you mentioned, were related to self-esteem. Why don't you go to a counselor and get some exercises to help boost yourself esteem and find the distortion in your thoughts toward yourself.

It sounds like you need to find yourself again. I feel this exact way when I am around people who are more out going than me. I beat myself up because I feel completely transparent, as though I have no personality, I am just a generic person. Why don't you find a hobby or a project to work on and focus on. Find out who you really are, and work on expressing yourself to others. This will make you feel like more of an individual and less of a "generic" human being.

You could try disciplining your mind. When negative thoughts come into your head, recognize them as lies, and counter them with truth, even if it takes speaking the truth out loud to yourself. (ie. Your thoughts tell you, "I made this mistake and feel awfull about it! Nobody could ever forgive me or accept me." tell yourself, "It was a lousy little mistake, the world isn't going to end. My family and friends love me. They're not going to turn me down over something so small.") Try telling yourself the truth. But first, you have to recognize your negative thoughts as lies and distortion.

Best of luck to you!

[redhed35]

I wonder if you should check with your doctor, check for hormone imbalances,get a full blood work up... rule out anything medical.

[slapshot_oi]

I agree with redhed35 although I wasn't allowed to, get a check up. The fact that this began recently, has lasted for a year and is centered around memory loss may indicate it's a physiological problem. It's a good idea to rule that out first.

[KBC]

I can relate to many of these symptoms,I'll give you my perspective.

At least 70% of what I read from you relates to depression.The lack of self-esteem,the empty mindedness,the inability to concentrate,etc.

I think the other 30% relates to stress due to the depression,you internal need to be productive,to live up to standards you have set for yourself.

You are educated,have been a productive member of society,have gotten married(big stressor).

When did the marriage proposal come into light,when were you first making the decision to get married?(not always in the same time frame)

How long do you want this to continue?

I seriously suggest a meeting with a psychiatrist,any one will do(to get started)It isn't a sign of weakness,it's taking care of yourself.No one else can do that for you.

Hope this makes sense,

Ken

[carrot0320]

You could try disciplining your mind. When negative thoughts come into your head, recognize them as lies, and counter them with truth, even if it takes speaking the truth out loud to yourself. (ie. your thoughts tell you, "I made this mistake and feel awfull about it! Nobody could ever forgive me or accept me." tell yourself, "It was a lousy little mistake, the world isn't going to end. My family and friends love me. They're not going to turn me down over something so small.") Try telling yourself the truth. But first, you have to recognize your negative thoughts as lies and distortion.

Best of luck to you!

Thanks for this.. I will put an effort to think in this terms. Please provide me more advice... :(