[danny. p]

I was dating a girl for 16 months things we were great. I meant her 2 summers ago. She lived in pittsburgh at the time with her mom but her dad lived in the same town I did 3 hrs north of pitt. She was visiting her dad that summer when we meant. We meant when she got a job where I worked. Right away she had a crush on me and we started talking. Not long and we were dating. We were both crazy about echother in no time niether of us had ever felt like that for someone so soon.we were together 2 months and she moved from pitt to my town to live with her dad to be with me because we loved each other so much. Things were great. She wanted me to get her a promise ring so I did. We were together a lot and hated being apart. We were kind of talking about an engagement. Then a lot of stress came in her life and overwelmed her and we started fighting a lot for like a month. Then one night we were on the phone and she said she couldt take it anymore she loved more than anyone but her stress and us fighting was making her unhappy and she said maybe she wanted time and space but was to confused and didn't know anything. She said she couldn't breakup with and I said maybe we should because I thought it would help her. So we broke up. She called me almost every night for two weeks after we broke and acouple times told me she loved me she just needed time. Its been two weeks she has no answers I have given her her space only calling her acouple times. Most of the time I let her call me and if she didn't one night sometimes id call her and sometimes I wouldn't. Its been 3 days now and she hasent called. The 2nd night she didn't call I txted her and she answerd and said she wanted to talk to me. We talked for a bit and I let her go. Later that night she didn't get ahold of me or the next day making it 3 days in a row she didn't try to contact me which is not like her. Please respond and give me some advice on what to do and what she might be thinking. Thanks.

[I wish]

The problem with going on a break is that you're both giving up on trying to work things out and want to deal with things yourself.

If you really wanted this relationship to work out, you would continue to work hard at making it work.

If she asked for time and space, then the ball is on her side of the court. She will contact you when she's ready to talk. Furthermore, she already knows that you want to get back together, so again, the ball is on her side of the court to decide whether she wants to give the relationship another shot. You can't force her back into the relationship, she has to come back naturally and willingly.

But until then, you should go do your own thing. Don't just sit by the phone waiting for her to call. Get on with your life.

[talaniman]

Don't mean to be harsh but, leave each other alone, and stop playing text tag, and phone tag. Its called cooling off so you can communicate rationally like adults not highly emotional kids, that can't control themselves.

Then a lot of stress came in her life and overwhelmed her and we started fighting a lot for like a month.

What kind of stress?

[danny. p]

Her stress was college, her parents giving her hard times about stuff. Her grandma went in the hospital with chest pains. Migraines for 2 weeks. And us fighting a lot which we usually didn't do.

[talaniman]

Its been my experience that adversity brings really committed couple together, as they share strength, hope, and support, but if a partner does not handle adversity, or stress very well, and wants a break, its really hard to share anything, let alone support them.

You have no meeting of the minds here, just useless arguing, so as well as the good times went, your seeing you don't work that well through adversity, and that's a clear signal that things may not work at all, and your going to have to make adjustments to your thinking, since the commitment to each other has been broken.

Maybe she demoted you to friend zone, because though she doesn't want romance any longer, she isn't ready or able to completely let go, and doesn't realize the pain her actions have caused you.

For sure misery loves company, and she is clearly miserable. I wouldn't let her misery be mine, nor allow her to keep me confused.

Step back and look at this through clear eyes, and not emotional thinking.

[danny. p]

so we went about 4 days I didn't try to contact her and neither did she. Acouple of days ago she txted me out of the blue and we txted back and forward for about half an hr just talking about stuff like what we had been doing the past couple days and just normal talk. At the end of the talk I told her I missed and she answered with you're my best friend you mean a lot to me and I miss you to. Today for xmas eve I took roses to her house she anwered the door as soon as she did she grabed them from me gave me a hug said thank you and marry x mas. She said she would ask me to stay but she was just getting ready to walk out the door to go to her grandmas. I said OK we talked a minute then I said I'm going to go we hugged again and I left. 2 hrs later she txted me and said thank u for the roses the were beautiful. I responded and her next text was it was sweet of u and we txted on and of the whole night. We had good conversations both of the last 2 times we talked and she was more herself eachtime. What do u guys think?

[talaniman]

I think you don't get your hopes up, and concentrate on family, and friends, for the holiday. That would be a shame to not share in their joy.

[Sissi]

If you're looking for me, you can find me on the blocks, desobeying the low, smeling like a lemon, although I'm not a lemon, windowshopping and being a sissi.

[Drewy1888]

Honestly bro, If she loves you, She will miss you and call you. Maybe you should let her know you're there for her but don't call or text her for a few days. Completely cut her off. If she doesn't come to you, then she wasn't the right girl anyway. Hope this helps. I'm having girl problems too so please check put my thread and let me know what you think.

[vanheart]

She's trying to let you down easy, as girls do.

Flowers are way too late. Desperate move.

Doesn't sound like she was was ever committed or you guys worked very hard.

More infatuation on your part.

Go NC immediately. She's done. No more text BS.

[vt_kettle]

As I am going through this now I will suggest to you,


Cut the contact right now.
She's going to send you texts that manipulate your feelings to a point where she knows you won't be able to not answer. She'll try to catch you with questions she knows you can't resist answering. You must resist answering them. The more often you have these talks, the worse it will get. What you need to do is go do what you must to feel better about your life. Avoid the contact. Because all that is going to happen is you're going to ask the same questions over and over each time you talk, and she will still not have the answers. When she has the answers, she will most likely tell you unless of course you've pushed her away and the pressure to come up with answers has broken her. The less you talk the better. Your relationship when it was happening is what will ever bring her back to you if she finds what she needs to in the space. Focus on you and don't break the no contact. I know you think " I love her, I don't want to hurt her by not replying to the texts ". But it's you time and she'll see that you're prepared to make life about you and less about her. And if she doesn't, then she was never going to in the first place and now you're steps ahead in the process of moving on.

[AdizoR]

Don't stop talking to her, it will make her go away from your life forever, my girlfriend tells me she needs space, and that she just wants to be friends, naturally I'm heartbroken, but she tells me she loves me and I know I love her, just tell her that you will always be here for you when you need to talk, me and my girlfriend have a great relationship, even though we are not together we still have a great time, I suggest you keep in contact, if you love her, if you don't then I'm afraid that's up to you how you work it out.