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anoanoano · Dec 7, 2009, 09:34 AM

OK really complicated,, this is a gay topic lol , but me and my best friend have always been close for about 4 years he really loved me in a 'boyfriend' way but I didn't feel the same ever since then he's forced himself to move on from me and we are still best friends. ( here is were it gets a little complicated) a guy came along hu my best friend was talking to but never took much interest in, on the other hand I really liked him and began to love him. We were so close but something personal happened and I had to end it with him I told him I still loved him and it had nothing to do with him obviously he didn't fully understand my best friend got with him 2 days l8er, we argued but I learnt to accept it, me and my ex still spoke a monnth l8er and he told me he still loved me and I felt amazing because I still felt the same way on the other hand he fell for my best friend also he loves him. He loves me and him and he's with my best friend. I go round to his house and we talk and cry and everything and I even slept in his. My best friend doesn't no what we are doing he keeps saying it was a mistake him getting with him in the first place and its always been me he really doesn't want to leave my best friend but he wants me to be with him.

Also the history I have between me and my best friend is EPIC lol but I don't no because if I go with him and leave my best friend he will never talk to me again and I don't want to lose both of them I need advice please p.s don't say forget the boyfriend because I really love him and cannot do that we say every time we see each other nothing will happen but it does anyway xxx

talaniman · Dec 7, 2009, 09:57 AM

Sounds like a very confusing situation, based on sex, and selfish, rather than any real caring, or boundaries, or commitment, what so ever.

What makes this complicated, is not the gay thing, but every body doing there thing with no regard to anyone but themselves.

Gay or straight, that's a recipe for disaster, as to friends who were former lovers cannot share a third party, and not have conflicts.

This is not about love at all, only having what you want, and keeping it that way.

The third wheel doesn't care, they are just using you both to get what they want.

This has nothing to do with love, so call it what it is... LUST!!

Until there are boundaries, and agreement of what's good behavior, or a commitment, you will continue to have confusion, conflict, and misunderstanding.

Sit down, and make some rules and keep it real.

Just Dahlia · Dec 7, 2009, 09:59 AM

Your story was a little confusing for me but I think you need to find out who is more important to you, if you can't have them both, you will have to pick one. Some one is going to get hurt either way.:(

How old are you?

Jake2008 · Dec 8, 2009, 02:04 AM

The nature of the relationship with your best friend has changed because there is a man in the middle of you both.

If it were me, I'd be inclined to put the friend first, however, you have very strong feelings for him.

You will have to make a choice. You can't keep living a lie with your best friend, and you can't have a healthy relationship without honesty, with either of them.

Why not just cool your jets with both of them, sit back a bit, take control of your own life (the only thing you can control), and decide what you want to do, and what you need to do.