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    gttgoldr's Avatar
    gttgoldr Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 2, 2009, 08:13 PM
    Frustrated and confused
    I am an over 30 female in a committed relationship with an over 40 male, we have a good relationship we get along well and always make each other laugh, though lately it seems it has been a struggle for him sexually. I am not saying he has any trouble performance wise or attaining a erection, he just no longer seems interested sexually. We at one time had a wonderful sex life and he seemed just as interested in having it as I do, but over the last few months that has changed. I have tried to be patient and just give it time, but I am becoming more and more frustrated with this issue. I am beginning to feel as though he is no longer attracted to me sexually but I still feel as though he loves me very much. He is a wonderful man and I have no concerns that he is cheating, I am just worried that there may not be much I can do to again attract him the way I used to. We have been in a relationship for four years now and I wondered if anyone had any suggestions or advise on this touchy matter
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 2, 2009, 09:00 PM
    Because the acceptable amount of intercourse is subjective, how much has the frequency changed? Does he show affection in other ways like hand-holding, kissing, cuddling, etc.

    Could the reduction be the normal slow down that nearly all relationships go through when the newness of getting to know each other starts fading?

    Stress or medical issues could cause a drop in libido. Have there been any changes like with his job or family? When was the last time he had a full check-up? It may be a factor of aging and his testosterone levels are lower now than when you got together.

    The big thing is communication. Have you tried talking to him about your concerns?
    gttgoldr's Avatar
    gttgoldr Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Dec 3, 2009, 05:57 AM

    Thank you for the feedback, and he has no medical concerns since these issues have begun. I have tried to talk to him about it, he does not agree much has changed. He has said that relationships have their ups and downs and eventually ours will be on the up swing again. I still can't help but to wonder if his attraction to me hasn't declined and that is actually the problem.

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