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broken_1 · Dec 1, 2009, 04:49 PM

I met this girl who seems wonderful. We hang out well and we "officially" agreed that we are dating. It has been 3 weeks so far, but I have noticed a few things

1. She doesn't like to get intimate or even kiss. If I have tried kissing her, sometimes she will let me kiss but most of the times, she would just be cold.

2. No, she is not gay. She has told me that.

3. She is 24 and I am 29. Is that a big age difference? She is way too mature for her age though. Really knows the world and has a very insightful view on so many things.

4. It appears that I always take initiative to talk to her or ask her out for dinner or hang at my place or go shopping etc. She doesn't take the first step.. ever.

Does it feel like a situation that I should talk to her about what's going on? Or I should just hang in there and if things don't improve in next one month or so, I should move on or breakup.

Any suggestions?

I wish · Dec 1, 2009, 05:26 PM

Suggestion: Talk to her

Communication is key.

broken_1 · Dec 1, 2009, 05:49 PM

I am not sure.. I don't want to feel like the guy who is pushy. What if she starts faking it. She is a nice person and I don't want her to do anything out of what she really wants.

I wish · Dec 1, 2009, 09:45 PM

Then wait until you feel more comfortable with her before bringing up your concerns. But if she's that fragile that you can't even say what's on your mind, then you're going to have much bigger issues.

It's important to have a strong communication system to have a healthy relationship.

broken_1 · Dec 2, 2009, 09:30 AM

Seems like this is not one of the problem this forum feels worthy of answering.

I wish · Dec 2, 2009, 09:40 AM

Seems like the answer is pretty clear: Talk to her

You have a problem with her, then work it out with her. You're in a relationship, you work as a team together.

You seem very insecure about yourself. Have more confidence in your abilities.

Healthy relationships have a strong communication system. Healthy relationships operate on a two-way street. It's nice that you're so considerate about her feelings, but you should feel comfortable enough to bring up your issues with her as well.

Dustin2239 · Dec 2, 2009, 09:46 AM

Maybe she has a fear of getting close because she got hurt in the past and don't make to get hurt again.

talaniman · Dec 2, 2009, 10:19 AM

Maybe you're the one with the high expectations and are moving too fast for her and she is slowing you down. How long did you date, before being official.

broken_1 · Dec 2, 2009, 10:34 AM

@I Wish - I am not insecure about myself. I am just not comfortable with the idea of pushing her into behaving differently that what she naturally is (if this is how she is). I am of course hoping that over a period we will be able to get comfortable with each other and hopefully become closer.

@Talaniman - We have been seeing each other for close to 2 months now. One month of dating and then became official.

redhed35 · Dec 2, 2009, 10:37 AM

Its still really new,have you talked a little about previous relationships?

Maybe she has been burned?

Perhaps she is unsure about you too,liking you,and wanting to see how things unfold.

talaniman · Dec 2, 2009, 11:03 AM

It takes longer than a few months to know and be comfortable with a stranger, and even longer before you can establish any honest communications. Buddy your in the process, so relax and have fun getting to know each other better. No need to force anything at all at this point.

What you expect her to fall all over you and just let you do whatever you want after 2 lousy months??

Sorry, doesn't work like that, so just have some fun times, and pay attention. That's my advice.