Check out some similar questions!

hoffnunglos · Dec 1, 2009, 11:00 AM

I've been together with my boyfriend for 1 year e 7 months. Currently our relationship is in a critical stage. I broke up with him several times, but we always got back together. There's something that always bring us back. Maybe it's something more physical - sex. We get along well at that point of view.
I know I'm a jealous girl, it's my temper, but he gives me reasons, he flirts with other girls in front of me, he keeps in touch with ex-girlfriends, he keeps all pictures of them in his computer. I trust him, I don't think he will cheat me, but I think this is disrespectful.
He's not a very warm and affectionate person, he's been always like that, since the beginning. And I believe that is his normal behavior. But at the beginning of our relationship he was a little better - kind and respectful.
I just don't know what to do. I trust him, I know he won't cheat me or do something really bad. But he's not treating me the way I think I deserve it.

I wish · Dec 1, 2009, 11:42 AM

Sounds like he can't provide what you want in a boyfriend.

Why force the issue? Find someone else that you're more compatible with.

amicon · Dec 1, 2009, 12:04 PM

This sounds like a very volatile relationship and you don't seem happy together. It seems it's time to let this go.

talaniman · Dec 1, 2009, 12:18 PM

So basically if it weren't for the great sex you would be gone any way, huh? Okay how about friends with benefits if it's a booty call that makes you put up with him any way.

Or maybe you're the booty call, and that's all he cares about. Either way, I doubt without stopping the sex, you will resolve anything, so at least be honest enough to see things for what they are. Sex buddies.

Devorameira · Dec 1, 2009, 12:20 PM

Healthy relationships are based on mutual trust and respect. By your description I can't see any respect there at all. I really think you need to put an end to the relationship. There's nothing fun about beling disrespected or being in an "on-again off-again" relationship.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go.

jaime90 · Dec 1, 2009, 12:43 PM

1.You are brought together by sex, and it seems to be the only thing you agree on... (If your relationship only works at the moment because of sex, it will not last- so plan on breaking up.)

2.you describe yourself as "jealous" for worrying about him keeping in touch with his ex's, keeping their pictures on his computer, and flirting with girls in front of you?
(Girl, there is no way you are in your right mind if you think this is acceptable. It is okay to be jealous of your boyfriend- after all, you are supposed to belong to each other, but this is downright disrespectfull. He flirts with other girls and for some odd reason you think he won't cheat? As said by others before me, 'flirting is cheating's evil cousin' this is a BIG no-no. Love is commitment, and commitment doesn't flirt with other girls and admire pics of his ex on the computer... this guy doesn't love you.)

3.You describe him as being warm and affectionate.
(Cats are warm and affectionate. You need to rethink about what love really means- it is not warm fuzzy feelings, it's a choice and a commitment.)

You're right in saying he isn't treating you the way you deserve. In fact, this guy shouldn't even be thinking about dating if he is still staying connected to his ex's. You need to let this guy go- nobody deserves a lousy boyfriend like this.

TELITLIKITIS45 · Dec 2, 2009, 12:49 AM

OK I believe you are jealous as much as you may think you are not.. But its OK he has given you every reason to be.. My advice is that you leave him.. Don't put conditions on it because that will cause him to lie to you... That's worse... You will have one hell of a time to try to change him. My ex was exactly the same way.. It took me leaving him to realize what he had and he tried for a year to get me back and I never went back because I knew I could not trust him ever.. So you have to make a choice.. Stay and get over it... Accept the way he is.. Or get out now and see what else is out there because there are so many more men out there that will treat you the way you want to be treated you just don't know it yet... you make the men treat you the way you want to be treated... You have too... men are like puppies you have to train them or they are no good

hoffnunglos · Dec 2, 2009, 09:38 AM

It's not only about sex. We do things together. I wanted to travel and do special things, but he worries about money. We live in different cities, but we see each other every weekend - or used to - now we are giving a break. He is or was serious, he introduced me to his family and friends, he always want me to be part of his life. I don't complain about that. I just think there's something missing. We're from different cultures. I'm from Latin America and he's from Germany. Do people change in order to have a better and healthier relationship? He' so stubborn and proud. I don't know, he's confusing me. Thanks anyway.

I wish · Dec 2, 2009, 09:46 AM

If you're in this relationship hoping that he will change, then you're in for a HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT.

He is who he is and you are who you are. You can't expect each other to change for one another.

Relationships are suppose to be natural. Your relationship seems forced.

Relationships are suppose to be happy. Your relationships sounds toxic.

It's one thing to be in love with someone. But it's another to be compatible with one another. In your case, you might love him, but you're not compatible with one another because you see things so differently.

If you can't sit down and work out your issues with one another, then you're better off going your separate ways.