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    kaneda's Avatar
    kaneda Posts: 14, Reputation: 5
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 1, 2009, 04:55 AM
    How do I go about this?
    Hello everyone! Its been a long time since I last posted here.
    Long story short: I met someone online, via a big online community,that has nothing to do with dating. I've come to really like this person and I wish he would reciprocate. I'm not quite sure how to show mine and maintain his interest, without being outright flirty, without dropping heavy hints or anything of that sort.
    We live far away from each other and I think its too early to consider meeting up.We always keep the subjects we talk about on the light side, and have never shared anything too personal(but I am sure he is available).
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Dec 1, 2009, 05:14 AM
    You can either carry on as you are,and keep getting to know each other-or you could ask him how he feels,at least that way you'll know.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #3

    Dec 1, 2009, 05:32 AM

    What's the rush? You want to know him pretty well before you meet him, so just keep talking. Just ask him light questions about what he does now, what his plans for the future are, and introduce some light information about you and your plans. Let a relationship develop slowly!
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #4

    Dec 1, 2009, 06:20 AM
    He may be available, but you've never met him, he lives far away and he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. I think you'd be better off meeting someone closer.
    kaneda's Avatar
    kaneda Posts: 14, Reputation: 5
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    #5

    Dec 1, 2009, 06:25 AM

    I am really going to take this slow, and by no means am I rushign in for a meeting . Thanks for the quick responses. I just wondered how to express interest without being either bluntly direct or engaging in mind games.
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #6

    Dec 1, 2009, 07:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by kaneda View Post
    I am really going to take this slow, and by no means am I rushign in for a meeting . Thanks for the quick responces. I just wondered how to express interest without being either bluntly direct or engaging in mind games.
    I met someone online through a sports message board once. It turned into a longterm long distance relationship. We started the way you did, but would send private messages back and forth - just short and funny at first, but then they became more meaningful as we became more interested. Does your online community have that feature?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #7

    Dec 1, 2009, 08:55 AM
    You can always get each other's IM contact through the private messaging system.

    But there's no reason for you to rush anything, just keep getting to know each other better. Eventually, you should also get each other's phone numbers before meeting up so quickly.

    Though he might seem like a great guy, I would still suggest that you proceed with caution.

    Putting in the effort to remain in constant contact is already a sign of showing interest.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #8

    Dec 1, 2009, 09:02 AM

    I'm not sure how old you are, but just to set my mind at ease, you're over 18 right?

    Big, online communities, not specifically for dating, are targets for pedophiles.
    kaneda's Avatar
    kaneda Posts: 14, Reputation: 5
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    #9

    Dec 1, 2009, 10:42 AM

    Of course, all our "talking" was done via PMs. We are very friendly to each other.
    Yes, I am way over 18 in fact.
    I talk to him every day or so, and I find myself always looking forward to it. I wonder if he does as well.
    Just Looking's Avatar
    Just Looking Posts: 1,610, Reputation: 480
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    #10

    Dec 1, 2009, 11:21 AM

    Have you exchanged pictures? How about just a casual comment that you always look forward to his PMs and see how he responds?

    In my case, we talked very casually for a month on the board, he sent the first PM and we talked weekly for another month, and then we exchanged pictures (which came about as part of a bet) and it became daily for a month. I already knew he was smart, witty, and charming... but those pictures. :) At that point, he asked me to call - and after the first phone call (6 hours long), we talked daily by PM, email and phone. Due to the distance (1800 miles), money, and our busy schedules (I was working full time and in grad school), we didn't meet up for 6 months. By then, we knew each other very well.
    kaneda's Avatar
    kaneda Posts: 14, Reputation: 5
    New Member
     
    #11

    Dec 1, 2009, 02:38 PM

    Yes, we did exchange photos, as all the community members do anyway. I think that letting him know how I like our chats will only push him away or make him think I'm head over heals . Your story is wounderful though!
    Edit:spelling

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