[fanita59]

When my oldest was 18 graduated with honors and received a 3 yr scholarship for college I was so beside myself. I never had to worry about her ,ceretainly wasn't smart enough to help her. I worked 2 sometimes 3 jobs raising her and her sister since they were 3 &5 yrs.old it was a hard life for all of us. She went to college lasted only 1 semester, got pregnant by a 16 yr old. I can't tell you how badly we had all handled this. For me I was hurt,angry, dissapointed, just plain floored. Because she dropped out of school I gave her options. She had to work and earn her keep to live here, time limit on the car, curfew blah blah. Well since finding out she was pregnant I told her she had choices to make. She left and we did not speak for 19yrs. Now she has a daughter that is out of control going no where in her short life the same goes for her boyfriend. No school no job just out all the time. What do you do?

[ROLCAM]

By your admittance she was out of your life for 19 years.
For all intents and purposes there is NO
Relationship between you.
What is best is to maintain the STATUS QUO!
Let her fend for herself.

[Jake2008]

"Well since finding out she was pregnant I told her she had choices to make" Did you mean you expected her to abort the baby? Did you tell her you would not help her if she decided to have this child?

19 years is a long time to hold a grudge. While your feelings and actions resulted in being disappointed in her, and I'm not saying she didn't deserve it, why did you let it go for 19 years. Why was it all or nothing.

How do you know so much about her daughter, and how do you know the information is accurate if you've not spoken to your daughter yourself.

Maybe this is an opportunity you can't afford to miss. I'm not sure what you are asking here. If you are considering getting in touch with your daughter, and being in your grand daughters life, by all means try. If what you have heard about her is anywhere near the truth, your daughter may just reciprocate if you extend that olive branch, for the sake of your granddaughter.

We have all made mistakes in our lives, and lived to tell about them. That your daughter has managed to survive and keep her daughter is a plus. Although I'm sure she could use some help.

Maybe time to bury the hatchet?